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10/04/2011

On Boehner, both idealized and actual

by Jeremy Hooper

6A00D8341C503453Ef0120A5718C07970BWhen he woke up this morning, House Speaker John Boehner had a great epiphany. Nobody's sure if it was the food he was able to eat while others go hungry, the job for which he was able to get himself dressed while so many remain unemployed, he peace he was able to enjoy while so many remain at war, the "Today" show he was able to watch while so many struggle to pay the electric bill, or the marriage he was able to benignly contract while other citizens struggle for the same fair shake, but something within the top House Republican led him to a great change of heart.

While sitting at his breakfast nook, the Speaker suddenly stopped cold. "You know what?" he asked himself, "I've been focused on preserving something divisive, discrimination, and, quite frankly, un-American, at both the literal and metaphorical expense of the American taxpayer, and that is just the wrong thing to do!" So without even a second more thought on what he now saw as an overwrought and misguided subject, Speaker Boehner slammed down his glass of OJ, pushed aside his bowl of Smart Start, and declared to no one and everyone at the same time, "Today is the day I announce plans to STOP defending the contrived bias that is the Defense of Marriage Act!"


Just kidding. He and his fellows did this shitty thing instead:

In a modified contract approved Friday, the GOP-led House Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group (BLAG) agreed to pay Washington, D.C.-based firm Bancroft PLLC up to $1.5 million for ongoing Defense of Marriage Act litigation.

The $1.5 million cap is triple the amount specified in the original April contract — the veracity of which Democratic leaders had questioned, given the volume of DOMA litigation nationwide.

House Republicans Triple DOMA Defense Budget [Advocate]

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