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01/28/2012

Brian Brown's itching to mock NH's 'Live Free or Die' reputation

by Jeremy Hooper

I got a promotion.
We're having a baby.
Ben & Jerry's found a way to strip away all fat yet maintain full flavor.
We're getting married.

Any of the above could fall in the "exciting news" category. But what excites National Organization for Marriage president Brian Brown, you ask? Well, repealing a state's currently-in-place, fairly-enacted, wholly benign, entirely peaceful marriage law so that said state can strip certain kinds of taxpayers of a deserved right, for one:

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[NOM]

Right, because if state legislative actions weren't exciting enough, what better way to up the thrills than with good old fashioned discrimination? You get the unending joy that is statehouse procedure, but also get to (heterosexually) marry that policy-making fun with the pure pleasure that comes from casting senseless stones at your good and decent neighbors. What's not to love?! It's a one, two punch of E.X.C.I.T.E.M.E.N.T.

So yes, B.B. -- embrace your excitement, my man. And when that dwindles, as it surely will, you can go another, even more thrilling round where you and NOM proceed to dismantle civil unions as well. Because let's be honest: You don't like those either, even if your political sense is forcing you to act like you're okay with their NH incarnation. Imagine how super duper fun it will be to fully estrange within the law that which you don't like, embrace, or even understand.

In fact, words could never express how existing this all is. So let's put it in song. Take it away, Pointer Sisters:

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