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Polish those resumes, kids—Pete's hiring!

by Jeremy Hooper

What do we think the qualifications might be?

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In his most recent action call, Pete declared that "it’s up to us to hold soulless corporations who back immorality accountable," adding that if gays "are correct and America is jettisoning its Christian roots to embrace sexual sin and the trivialization of 'marriage' to accommodate it, we will continue to decay like all once-great civilizations before us." And really, what Fortune 500 company can offer you any better training than that, the cause of saving the world from the evil gays?

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