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Yeah, I'm with you on the whole dividing Maine with discrimination thing—but will there be snacks?

by Jeremy Hooper

Are you both in support of discrimination and hungry for some eats? Well you're in luck, my famished backer of inequality! At least if you're in Maine, that is. For you see, the Protect Marriage Maine campaign has made sure to couple its Friday and Saturday attempts to use religious beliefs as weapons against civil rights with proper nourishment for the gathered masses:

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I love that they were sure to stipulate the offerings. Come for the wanton rejection of your neighbors legal protections; stay for the hoagies. It's kind of like the school lunch menu from when you were a child. Except, you know—with real and demonstrable harms for that sweet, sensitive friend who likes stickers and flowers more than dodge ball and objectifying female classmates.

Though something tells me the campaign will not be offering Crullers as the donut choice. When running the obviously crueler of two sides of the same argument, one must avoid such phonetic land mines.

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