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12/09/2013

DEAR AMY: If the Grinch wants to steal my sexual orientation, should I give in to his reindeer games?

by Jeremy Hooper

If you've read my book, you know that the holidays were the backdrop for my own line in the sand between family erasure and family acceptance. But I'm far from alone in that scene, with the heightened yuletide environment and its kin-heavy vibe setting the stage for many an LGBT person's own debate about what he or she is willing to accept.

The syndicated "Ask Amy" column is taking on that topic:

DEAR AMY: When I was 14 I came out as gay to my parents. We lived in a small town in the South. I was beaten, kicked out of my home temporarily and forced into reparative therapy. I left home the day I turned 18 and, needless to say, at 27 years old my relationship with my parents is strained at best.

I have always gone home for major holidays and maintained contact with my family, but recently I have set new limits on our relationship. I have been with my partner for three years now and want to spend major holidays with him. They will not allow him to come to family events like Christmas and Thanksgiving.

I have now told my parents that I will have very little contact with them and will not be returning home until they can accept me for who I am. I have convinced them my homosexuality is not a conscious choice, but they still see me as “mentally ill” and also a sinner.

Why would I invite them to a wedding they don’t think should be legally allowed to take place? Why would I allow them around my future children?

Am I wrong for setting these new limits? Have I stooped to their level by cutting off family members because I feel differently than they do? Should I be the bigger person? -- It Got Better

Read the response — DEAR IT GOT BETTER: Ask Amy [Washington Post]

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