Good As You: Westboro Roundup

05/07/2007

Monday Morning Diversion: Puzzled by the Phelps

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05/04/2007

Fred Phelps: The Early Years

This from the June 11, 1951 edition of Time magazine: Five-year-old John Muir College at Pasadena (enrollment: 2,000) has no more than the average quota of campus sin. But to Fred Phelps, 21, a tall (6 ft. 3 in.), craggy-faced...

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04/30/2007

Westboro spreads antipathy to other kinds of 'queens'

The latest from Westboro Baptist Church: Though if you think Westboro's raging now, just wait until they see Stephen Frears' next tell-all biopic: Sure to set them over the edge, that flick! ****Note: This full Westboro press release can be...

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04/25/2007

Video: God Hates Bratwurst

America's Second-Most Hated Family [YouTube] Technorati Tags: Westboro

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04/18/2007

Just when you think depravity level's been reached, Shirl says something else

Been shocked by Westboro Baptist so many times that you think you are now unshockable? Yea, so did we. That is until we saw the below quotes, which are pulled from a CBS News report on the the clan's plan...

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04/17/2007

Come on, Westboro -- isn't your usual route getting stale?

Since we know a Westboro Baptist press release in regards to yesterday's shooting is inevitable, we would like to take a second and suggest a sentiment for the "church" to convey: We'll remain hopeful that Westboro will break tradition and...

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04/06/2007

Disney to wed Cinderella and Prince(ss) Charming

In response to criticism from our pals at AfterElton, the Walt Disney Company will reportedly now allow same-sex couples to participate in the Fairy Tale Wedding program that they offer at their theme parks and on board their cruises. News...

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04/04/2007

If London Bridge is falling down, don't expect Westboro to catch it

You may remember that on Monday, we posted some video from a BBC documentary that chronicles the exploits of the Westboro Baptist Church. Well, apparently that documentary special has led loads of Britons to send angry emails to Westboro, which...

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04/02/2007

Video: 'The Sur-Real World'

From the aptly titled BBC documentary, "The Most Hated Family in America": Our question: Is those familiar Westboro speech patterns an in-born or learned thing? You know, the way they say everything in a staccato, direct, disdainful manner that makes...

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03/21/2007

CO pastors to see how it feels to be condemned

Latest announcement from Westboro Baptist Church: Though we hear that the "Christian on Christian" stone-casting will come to a dramatic end when local resident Hater McStinkerpants dramatically posits the question, "Can't we all just castigate the gays?" ****Note: This full...

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03/19/2007

Photo: What, doesn't your preacher ask the same of you?

From time to time, we like to check in with our ol' two step pardners at the Westboro Baptist Church to see for what, exactly, they are praying this week. Their newest sign: Ah, yes, that old classic Biblical principle...

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03/05/2007

Westboro prays for deadlier, 'f*g-hatier' tornado

This comes courtesy of those reliably nutty kids at Westboro Baptist Church: Leading billions of folks to wonder to whom they worshiped this weekend, as gay-punishing mass murderer was certainly not the vision that most had in their heads. But...

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02/12/2007

God hates 'Git-R-done'

From a new Westboro Baptist Church press release: Which does make a bit of sense, actually, as Satan would seem to be a literal "red neck"! However, this protest is still completely absurd on Westboro's part, as everyone knows the...

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01/24/2007

God hates triple axels

From our ol' ice dance partners at the Westboro Baptist Church: ::sigh:: So icy, their hearts. However, we do hear Westboro has a time frame for stopping their protests of any and everything that they find too gay. Rumor has...

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12/22/2006

Warmest holiday wishes from the Westboro Baptist family

From the latest Westboro Baptist press release: ...and a Happy New Year But ya know, we really only have one question in response to this diatribe: Are they still planning on sending us a gift? Everyday we watch the mailbox,...

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12/12/2006

Judge to those who militantly judge: 'Cough up some cash'

A Baltimore judge has ordered the "fag-hating" folks at Westboro Baptist Church to pay $3,150 in connection with an on-going lawsuit. Rumor has it that Westboro will hold a "You're going to BAKE in hell" SALE in order to raise...

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12/11/2006

If it displeases the court: Phelps threatens to sue the government

On Dec. 7, the Senate approved “The Respect for the Funerals of Fallen Heroes Act,” which, if passed by Congress and signed by the president, would further limit Westboro Baptist Church from protesting at military funerals. A congressional action that...

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12/08/2006

As America mulls 'staying the course' or 'cutting and running,' Westboro suggests 'bending over and kissing your ass goodbye'

Because we know you've been desperately waiting to hear their thoughts on the Baker-Hamilton commission's findings, we now present to you this summary of Westboro Baptist Church's reactions to the situation in Iraq: Wait a minute -- we poured over...

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11/20/2006

'Don we now our gay-hating apparel'

So say you want to welcome the Christmas season as it makes its yearly jingle-belled appearance on America's landscape, yet you detest almost every one of the United States' cultural practices and traditions, as you think this nation has "sinned...

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11/13/2006

Excommunication, Westboro Style

Think membership into the Westboro Baptist Church lasts a "fag-hating" lifetime? Well, think again, kiddies. It seems that just like with organizations that exist on this plane of reality and decency, if Westboro finds that you're not pulling your weight...

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10/16/2006

Video: America's Next Top 'Fag Hater'

From a recent episode of "The Tyra Banks Show," here is Shirley Phelps-Roper being...well, being Shirley Phelps-Roper: And from our extensive email archives, here is how Shirley PRed the appearance to us back in August: Though personally we don't think...

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09/18/2006

Video: For those who've never known the joy of a Westboro protest

Are you lucky enough to live in an area where a soldier has never died? Has your local community theater neglected to stage a production of The Laramie Project? Upset that GLAAD and HRC continually pass over your town when...

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09/14/2006

Fred simply shocked...SHOCKED...that unbridled extremism elicited reaction

In a USA Today piece on Westboro Baptist and their nationwide anti-gay crusade, WBC's pastor, Fred Phelps, asks the question: "How in the world did we get this humble message from this humble little old nothing of a church to...

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09/06/2006

Sheesh, everyone's a 'fag-hating' critic: Phelps blasts Stewart & Colbert

In his latest video diatribe, Westboro Baptist's Fred Phelps is lashing out against Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert for their performance at the recent Emmys, saying that the Comedy Central golden boys "mocked the fact that America has gone the...

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08/28/2006

The (ex-)Westboro member we never see

A reader sent in this interesting bit of info: So we, curious about this rumor, put it directly to the child's mother, frequent Westboro spokesperson Shirley Phelps-Roper. From Shirl comes this response: We really have nothing to add, other than...

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08/22/2006

...provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and clean your keister

In a new video charmingly titled "The U.S. Constitution - an Agreement with Hell," Westboro Baptist's Fred Phelps says of the U.S. Constitution: "A constitution that now says 'it's okay to be gay' is a constitution which is in a...

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08/18/2006

Video: 'All that's sacred comes from youth'

More examples of Westboro: The Next Generation: Is that baby Gap, Gymboree, or Despicable Originals that they're wearing? [G-A-Y] I believe the children are our future...sign-carrying, extremist antagonists [G-A-Y] *Headline quote: E.V.

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08/16/2006

Wherein Shirl advises soldiers on ways to die

In her latest "epic" detailing a protest of the area surrounding Fort Campell, Kentucky, Westboro Baptist's Shirley Phelps-Roper says to the local soldiers: "God controls your hearts, you dopes; He sent you those lying spirits. You would NOT obey, so...

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08/04/2006

Video: An oldie but a goodie

Michael Moore lets Fred Phelps have it [YouTube]

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Attorney claims inability to serve Westboro; various waiters claim sheer non-desire to do same

Responding to an attorney's claims that he's tried to serve a lawsuit to Westboro Baptist twenty-seven times without success, WBC's Shirley-Phelps Roper is quoted by the AP as saying: "If there is a person who is trying to serve us...

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07/28/2006

No Sin Zone: Phelps says O'Reilly slanders Westboro

Due to his lashing out against Westboro Baptist Church, WBC's "fag-hating" father, Fred Phelps, is declaring Bill O'Reilly to be a "spin doctor for his father the Devil," a "Hell-bound blaspheming hypocrite," and "a demon-possessed messenger of Satan." To which...

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07/24/2006

Is that baby Gap, Gymboree, or Despicable Originals that they're wearing?

Maintaining a nice home, raising adorable kids, warping fragile hearts and minds so that they'll hate the majority of America -- how does Margie juggle it all? But if you think the shirts are bad, you should see their "God...

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07/19/2006

I believe the children are our future...sign-carrying, extremist antagonists

It's not that Shirl' can't afford better clothing for her lil' ones, it's that she can't afford the possibility that they might not want to hate any and everyone. Call off the search, Parenting magazine -- we think we've found...

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07/18/2006

Sister 'fag haters' for life

While not the most popular sorority on campus, the girls of Beta Theta Hata' still know how to get the boys' attention. Just hope Jael and Shirl' don't decide to wear the same "Gods Hates America" dress to the fall...

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07/14/2006

Video: You're Going To Helena

They say: We say:

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07/13/2006

God hates hooky: Westboro charged for absence

Mundy Township, Michigan, has reportedly billed the "fag-hating" folks at Westboro Baptist Church $5,000 for not showing up to a planned picket of a local soldier's funeral. The town say the bill is to cover the special police protection that...

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07/10/2006

Fun with Westboro, Aussie style

From the Australian television program "The Chaser's War on Everything": Oh, Westboro! It's good to know that your lunacy translates, even down under.

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07/06/2006

Wherein we start thinking Westboro's had more gay relations than us

From a Westboro Baptist press release announcing their plans to picket a funeral at a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC): Hmm...not to split hairs when the hairs are already so dry and unmanageable, but none of these nichey sex acts are...

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06/23/2006

Westboro thanks God for gruesome deaths; we give them the bird

In response to the sad, unbelievably brutal murders of Army Pfc. Thomas L. Tucker and Pfc. Kristian Menchaca, the "fag-hating" folks at Westboro Baptist Church say the following in their latest press release: And while we know it's virtually impossible...

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06/14/2006

Video: Baptist vs. 'Baptist'

From YouTube, a video from last night's Westboro Baptist protest at the Southern Baptist Convention: Be sure to watch all the way through, so as not to miss Shirl's comparison of the red in the American flag to rectal blood....

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06/13/2006

Westboro to picket SBC's raging 'gay-friendliness'

When Southern Baptist Convention delegates head to their annual soiree in Greensboro, NC tonight, they'll be greeted by the "fag-hating" folks from Westboro Baptist Church, who'll be on hand to, as they so succinctly put it, "picket the idolatrous Southern...

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06/12/2006

Girl on girl: Fox News anchor tangos with Shirley Phelps-Roper

Rarely do we get around to watching the Fox News Channel. However, if they'd just start airing this on a continuous loop, we might start tuning in from time to...oh, who are we kidding? We're raging lefties who fear our...

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06/08/2006

Westboro to challenge lawsuits against them; but will 'God Hates Legal Frivolity' signs be allowed in court

Responding to the news that a father is filing a lawsuit against their Westboro Baptist Church for protesting at his son's funeral, the Phelps clan has announced that they'll launch counter suits against "anyone filing frivolous litigation against WBC." Additionally,...

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06/05/2006

Because if you don't teach religious extremism before age nine, it may not take

From Westboro Baptist Church: And to think the children in our lives only had Elmo and Spiderman toys to play with this weekend. Who knew that batsh*t crazy, anti-gay signs were all the RAGE? ::sigh:: We're so old and out...

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05/30/2006

Because a BBQ would've been too sane: Westboro protests Bush at Arlington

Just moments after President Bush signed the "Respect for America's Fallen Heroes Act" -- a recently-passed measure designed to keep Westboro Baptist Church from picketing at soldiers' funerals -- the fag-hating folks from Westboro yesterday protested outside the entrance of...

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05/25/2006

Westboro to condemn Congress within the hour

The full U.S. Congress has passed the "Respect for America's Fallen Heroes Act," a bill that will limit Westboro Baptist Church's ability to protest at soldier's funerals. Consequently, we hear Westboro is now considering simply protesting every American birth, as...

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05/22/2006

People, don't fuel Westboro's fire -- piss on it

The "fag-hating" protesters from Westboro Baptist reportedly had a tire slashed, eggs and stones thrown their way, and two members assaulted this weekend as they protested the funeral of a marine who died in Iraq. Crazy, right -- I mean,...

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05/15/2006

'God Hates Merely Saying Thank You' : Westboro calls Frank a 'fat faggot'

Openly gay congressman Barney Frank voted against a bill that would bar Westboro Baptist Church from protesting at soldiers' funerals. So how does Westboro thank Frank? Well... WESTBORO!?!?! Where are your manners?? A simple, "Thanks, Barney" would've been sufficient. You...

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05/10/2006

Westboro prompts House to install picket fence

By a vote of 408-3, the U.S. House of Representatives has voted to restrict demonstrations at soldier's funerals, a move pointedly aimed at thwarting the favorite past time of the "fag-hating" folks of Westboro Baptist Church. Unless, of course, there's...

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05/08/2006

Westboro bites the hand that feeds their right to 'Thank God for 9-11'

From the "fag-hating" folks of Westboro Baptist Church: Yea, because that whole "a Land of the Sodomite Damned" thing would go over SO WELL in the rest of the world's nations. Aren't you automatically appointed ruler of some Middle Eastern...

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