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Gays gunnin' for Gates?

by Jeremy Hooper

The nothing if not trustworthy Page Six is reporting that in light of last week's ball-less display of capitulation, Microsoft honcho Bill Gates has received numerous "threats on his life." P6 claims that Gates has been forced to hire extra bodyguards to deal with the situation.

Which is obviously insane and scary. However, one must consider the source material. Knowing Page Six, the actuality might be that Gates hired extra cleaning ladies to deal with soap scum.

One must err on the side of caution when relying on Johnson, Froelich, and the ilk.

10-FIGURE FEARS [Page Six]

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