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05/12/2005
Like "Desperate Housewives," but with 3/4's cup of homophobia
Way back in March, we told you about the formation of a new right-wing organization that seems to hate us, Homemakers For America. Well according to Agape Press, the hausfraus are ready for the coming out party, with a national public relations campaign to be unveiled by the end of this month.
So who the hell cares, you say? After all, what could possibly be on their agenda other than mini vans, Tollhouse cookies, and "The View?" Well, like all organizations who attach an American flag to anything that will stand still, these lassies have ridding the world of homos on their Wal-Mart-centric brains.
Regarding their anti-gay intentions, the Teri Hatcher of the crew, Kimberly Fletcher (pic.), tells Agape:
"We can no longer be silent .... Our elementary school libraries are filled with books like My Two Mommies, and we can't even turn on PBS anymore," Fletcher explained. "We cannot hide our heads in the sand. We must speak out."
Oh Kim, the correct title is Heather Has Two Mommies! Ya know, if you're gonna be the mouthpiece for a conservative organization, then you best be doing your homo-work!
One can only imagine what sort of joy this crew will be baking up over the next few years, although we do hear that monitoring "Ellen" for even the slightest mention of Sapphic love tops their priority list.
"OH MY GOSH SUZY, did you see the way she looked at Cynthia Nixon?!?!"
Ladies, let us be the first to say, "Welcome to the party."
Activist Calls Homemakers to Make Voices Heard [Agape Press]
**UPDATE: Ms. Fletcher has written to thank us for the publicity, and to tell us that this entry wasn't "near [sic] as clever" as our previous HFA entry. Everyone's a critic!
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