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05/10/2005

United American Technologies: Calling plans for gay marriage bans

by Jeremy Hooper

 So what if you love making long distance phone calls to your aunt Dorothy in Walla Walla, but you absolutely HATE homosexuals and their insistence on equality? How do you know that your service provider also hates the homo-gays?

Well fear no more little bigots, as Oklahoma based long distance and Internet service provider United American Technologies has come to save your day.

The company is actually using an anti-gay marriage/anti-child pornography telemarketing campaign to recruit new customers; because as everyone knows, kiddie porn and 'mo unions go hand and hand.

If you'd like to hear examples of UAT's telemarketing efforts, NY-based comedian Eugene Mirman has some handy MP3s here and here for your listening pleasure. Alhough the calls are played for comedy by Mr. Mirman, they are frighteningly real. Listen in as the oh-so-informed UAT rep decries communication powerhouses AT&T and MCI, even at one point agreeing with Mr. Mirman's jestful statements that "God hates AT&T" and that "Together, you and I, will destroy the gays."

Phones for 'phobes, if you will.

Rumor has it that signing with UAT also provides the customers with a host of other features such as : Banning of numbers located in San Francisco, West Hollywood, or the Chelsea area of NYC and Caller ID that informs the customer of the caller's religious identity and political affiliation.

Okay so we made the last part up; scary how plausible it seems though, huh?

Hat tip: Reach Out and Touch Someone (But Not in a Gay Way) [Wonkette]
Hate Speech on the Other Line [NY Sun]

Update: United American Technologies still united in homophobia [G-A-Y]

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