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07/12/2005

Just when Spongebob thought he was safe...

by Jeremy Hooper

   The 'Spongebob' diversity video that caused all sorts of controversy when it was released earlier this year, has received yet another condemnation from the Broward County school district, who have deemed the video's message of acceptance potentially confusing and dangerous to the wee little ones. According to the Miami Herald, the district's "diversity committee" voted 10-7 to keep the video out of the Florida county's schools in part because some committee members felt it could open the door to discussions about homosexuality. The door to homophobia, however, will reportedly remain propped wide open with a Bible.

In order to put this latest development in the "cartoon witch hunt" into perspective, we've contacted or old friend Vanity Smurf, who had this insight:

   "Can you believe this smurfing ridiculousness is still going on? Simply unreal. But you know what, Broward County is a smurfing crap shoot. There was this one time in '83 when I was smurfing in Fort Lauderdale with a few of the Snorks, Prince Adam, and the animated version of Punky Brewster..LOVED HER..anyways, we were having a really smurfing good time, when all of a sudden these smurfing homophobes started calling us all sorts of not-so-smurfy names and telling us we were going to animated hell for one reason or another. I was like, hello, as if I don't face enough persecution from Gargamel during the year, and now you're gonna smurf with me on my mother-smurfing vacation?! 'That sorta tactic might work with Peppermint Patty,' I said to them, 'but I'm on the same network as the Cos'. You smurf with me, I'll smurf you back good.' I thought Broward had gotten better since those Reagan-era, morning in smurfing America days, but I guess not."

God bless him and his trailblazing ways!

As for gay kids in Broward: We promise that in college, life gets a lot less judgmental.

Diversity committee flunks Barney video [Miami Herald]

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