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Vatican 'mo-focused document leaked; someone needs to clean it up

by Jeremy Hooper

The Adista News Agency has posted what is believed to be the full text of the long-awaited Vatican document outlining the rules for homosexuals wishing to enter the Catholic priesthood; unsurpisingly, all of the expected stigmatization stipulations seem to be firmly intact. According to the AP (who can translate Italian much better than we), the document says, in part:

"the church, while deeply respecting the people in question, cannot admit to the seminary and the sacred orders those who practice homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or support so-called gay culture."

Though if you're so naturally good at homosexuality that you need no practice, your roots to your 'mo tendencies are only superficial, and you despise "The L Word" and circuit parties, you might still have a chance. Also (and we're not making this part up), the document does specify that if one has "overcome" their queer tendencies for at least three years, then they would be eligible for the priesthood and, we'd assume, also be horny as hell.

The final draft of the Vatican-verified document is expected to be released November 29, just in time to make gay seminary candidates feel unworthy of Christmas.

Vatican: Sexually Active Gays Unwelcome [AP via SFGate.com]

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