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12/12/2005
Now in season 15, is America's first family of fag-hating losing some edge?
Is it just us, or are the picketing antics of Westboro Baptist starting to get stale? It's like, "Ooh, you have an upside down flag and you're using children to convey ridiculous messages of hate at the funerals of soldiers. Seen it, cried, and vomited already."
Hey crazies: you claim to have God's number on speed dial -- doesn't he have anything else to say? Like maybe he could tell us his thoughts on "Grey's Anatomy," or whether we should invest in a plasma TV now or wait until the next generation comes out and the price drops? Just something fresh.
Performers must constantly adapt their material and grow, be they singers, mimes, or religious extremists who dedicate their every waking hour to the fervent belief that everyone who exists outside of the confines of their Kansas compound are evil and hell-bound. After all, there's always another family a little younger, thinner, and fag-hatier ready to take your place, Westboro.
Maybe it's time you guys recast -- some of your 8 billion and six family members just seem to be lacking that "it" factor. Sure, they have the chants down and they're able to hold a sign, but we just don't believe them when they call us "feces eaters" and tell us we're going to be "beggin' for a drop of water to cool our tongue." It's all about presence, and some of you are just not cutting it.
Eh, well hopefully you'll take our suggestions into consideration Westboro -- we're a nation not at all begging to be entertained by you, and since there is absolutely no need for what you guys do, you don't owe it to us to hone your "craft" for our viewing displeasure.
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