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And yes, we know it's pronounced 'Bay-nur'

by Jeremy Hooper

   The Republicans have voted Rep. John Boehner (pic.) to be the new House Majority Leader, replacing the indicted Tom Delay.

Hmm, Boehner -- whatever could we do with that name?

The appointment comes as a bit of a disappointment to gays, as Boehner is a sponsor of the federal marriage amendment and has a track record of not supporting LGBT issues. However, it's a very encouraging sign for young ones like Joe Pitchedehtent, Gene Stiffehy, Robert K. Hardehpenis, Randall Notflaccidehdick, and Jesse Firmehmeat, as they now see that their aroused names will not necessarily limit their political ambitions. After all, it would suck if they got the shaft.

Boehner's triumph came as a surprise to the many who thought that Missouri's Roy Blunt would get the nod. Among those caught off guard was your humble scribe, who had to quicky alter the aforementioned youngsters names from their previous incarnations of Joe Smokeabowl, Gene Rollajoint, Robert K. Bongrip, Randall Kindbud, and Jesse Amsterdam.

Boehner elected US House majority leader [FT via MSNBC]

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