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02/16/2006
'Concerned Women' Are Secretly, Frequently (Full of Sh*t)
Some of you may have listened to your iPod this morning, finding yourself transported to that happy place that only your favorite tunes can take you. You casually sipped your morning latte while some Johnny Cash, Postal Service, or Nellie McKay entertained your ears and your soul. You smiled at your good fortune and blessed your eardrums and brain for working in cooperation, thus allowing you to enjoy the sweet noise.
We, on the other hand, spent our AM listening to the Concerned Women for America's Robert Knight and Martha Kleder chat about the "homosexual agenda" and its latest tool, Willie Nelson, an exchange that made us thoroughly curse our ability to perceive sound. Jealous?
Yes, in a chat residing under the headline "Willie Lauds ‘Gay’ Cowboys in Song," Kleder and Knight dust off their scripts, ready their anti-gay code words, and set out to thoroughly decry Nelson's latest gay cowboy-centric tune, "Cowboys Are Secretly, Frequently (Fond of Each Other)." After declaring that "The Western image doesn't include gay cowboys" and writing off The Vagina Monologues as that "feminist play that they perform on college campuses all over the country on Valentines Day specifically to step on the idea of natural romantic love between men and women," the two get themselves ultra-feisty, leading to this:
KNIGHT: ....but now they've gone after an American icon, the cowboy. Ya know, they've done it with Brokeback Mountain and now they've done it with Willie Nelson, one of the most revered songwriters and performer. And I have to think that Willie's fan base probably won't take this too well
KLEDER: Well, Bob it's almost as though they tried a frontal attack with these organizations that have an organization and leadership that guide them, like the Boy Scouts and the Salvation Army, they weren't successful and now they've gone after kind of a soft target, where there's really nobody in charge to lead the way
KNIGHT: Yea, the cowboys in America don't have legal counsel to protect their image like the Boy Scouts do. So they are an easy target. But evil doesn't just happen, and evil doesn't create anything by itself. Evil is when you take something good and you pervert it slightly, sometimes so subtly people barely notice but then it becomes an instrument of something else. And what we're seeing is the homosexual movement is attempting to take everything we hold dear in society and twist it just a little bit to make it perverse and then declare that everybody's a little perverse so there's nothing really wrong, there's certainly no transcendent moral order, and it's all aimed eventually at the church. As the church holds out and says 'no, there is right and wrong, God created it; there are the two sexes, God created them for each other; there's the institution of marriage, created by God before any other institution.' No matter how many Willie Nelsons and others out there aiding and abetting the homosexual movement pop up, the essential reality isn't going to change, but it will create a culture that will be less friendly to families, less friendly to Christians and observant Jews. While this may seem funny, this whole Willie Nelson gay cowboy thing, it's very serious business and they know exactly what they're doing.
Yes, we held Willie by the braids and threatened to french twist them into a nice up-do unless he recorded a song that advanced our "agenda." We were all like, "Listen Willie -- you do this bit of perverted evil or we're gonna go against your wishes and tell every mother in America that they SHOULD let their babies grow up to be cowboys." Not wanting to look the fraud for once unleashing that warning on the public, Willie consented to our perverse demands. As we held comb and Aveda spray gel to his hairy head, he went in that audio booth and laid down his evil lyric to this society-wrecking tune. Merciless, we are.
Look out Kleder and Knight -- it's only a matter of time before we force you to sing our praises, amidst threats that we'll expose the cruel, inhumane, discriminatory nature behind your daily grind if you don't. Actually, on second thought -- just keep doing what we're doing; word's getting out just fine on its own.
Willie Lauds ‘Gay’ Cowboys in Song [CWA]
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