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02/15/2006
Goin' to the Jersey courtroom next to the chapel and we're gonna eventually get married
Today in Jersey, a case seeking to legalize same-sex marriage in the Garden State will head to the Supreme Court. Also, several cases of arthritis medicine will today head down the Jersey Turnpike as they make their way to various retailers.
What do these two deliveries have in common, you ask? Well, both could eventually lead your humble scribe to walk down a Hoboken-based aisle so that he can finally tie that knot.
Now, you may be all like, "But humble scribe, aren't you young? You don't have arthritis yet." To which I'd reply by looking deep into your eyes and lovingly saying, "I Do."
This may make you angry and cause you to be all like, "Quit with the wedding plays on words, nut job. Are your hands really arthritic or not?" To which I'd reply, "Well, one of my fingers is particularly sensitive, and the idea that its joint could be just like its hetero peers' joints... well, let's just say the notion of that kind of equality has a certain ring to it."
By this point you've probably given up and are saying to yourself, "What a crazy wedding-obsessed crazyhead! You're not afflicted with phalanges distress; your fingers are fine" And while that may be so, and you may think me nutty, I vow that in sickness and in health, for better or worse, I will always love, honor, and cherish you.
You've undoubtedly broken your computer by now, though don't worry -- hopefully in the near future you'll be able seal the deal or get it hitched, regardless of your hard wiring.
You're probably getting angry, but whatever -- I now pronounce you too uptight and humorless; you may kiss my butt.
You may be all like, "I'm not lacking in the humor department, but this wedding sh*t's just getting old." To which I'd simply say, "Oh, you're just 'dum dum da dum, dum dum da dum.'"
Legalize it Jersey -- we could go on for hours.
Gay Marriage Debated Before NJ High Court [1010 WINS]
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