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04/12/2006
Gay rowers finally secure aquatic venue
Settling the matter once and for all, the town of Lakewood, IL, has given its approval to the use of Crystal Lake this summer for Gay Games rowing competitions.
The vote comes after months of debate among local residents (see below) about morality, gay culture, issues with the lake's wake restrictions, the merits of allowing athletic competition on the lake, etc. This being the case, we think it would an absolute laugh riot if Gay Games organizers today took one look at the lake and said, "Ohhhh -- the lake isn't really made of Crystal? Hmmm. Well, we guess it'll be okay, though it is sort of false advertising. But no, it's fine. It's just not what we expected, but whatever. We'll deal..........but ya know, there is still time -- perhaps the residents could bring in some crystal before our events begin? Cubic zirconia might even work. It's just that you guys have put us through all this and..."
Oh, and to that anti-Gay Games local official whose negative email about us was forwarded our direction on March 9 (I believe you called us "disgusting" and said that our support for the Games was an example of an "agenda"), we only have one thing to say: nanny, nanny, boo, boo.
Gay Games clears 3rd, final hurdle in suburb [Chicago Tribune]
Backstory: Gay Games jump through yet another Crystal Lake-based hoop [April 5]
H2homO: Lake of Crystal closer to hosting Games of Gay [March 8]
Crystal Lake may still host 'mo rowing; Krystal Lake may still host Southern overeaters' wildest fantasy [March 6]
Crystal Lake won't host Gay Games; Catelyn Waters, Sunshine Rivers, or other drag queen-sounding locale being sought [March 3]
In which we find a piece, see room for misinterpretation, and run with it [February 21]
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