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12/05/2006
'Ex-gay' logic: You can stop being a man who's attracted to men, you'll just still be attracted to men
Below, an excerpt from the Associated Baptist Press, wherein they detail the gay-centric thoughts of "former homosexual" Tim Wilkins:
Wilkins said Christians focus too much on talking about change for homosexuals instead of talking about the freedom that comes from knowing God. The idea that Christians should try to "convert" homosexuals to heterosexuality "does not place the appropriate emphasis on Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith."
What's more, to peddle heterosexuality to people attracted to those of the same sex just doesn't make sense, Wilkins said. "If beautiful women were the remedy for male homosexuality, there would be no gay men."
Further, he added, it's not a sin to be attracted to the same sex - the attraction itself is a moot point. Instead, when Christians lead people to a relationship with Jesus, those with same-sex attractions will get a savior who fulfills their needs for love, acceptance and affirmation.
After he became spiritually intimate with God, Wilkins said, his needs for intimacy with men diminished. "What I needed was a savior," he said. "I needed Jesus Christ. The relationship which precedes every relationship in the world is the one with our heavenly father."
Okay, where to begin? Well, let's just start with the big guy himself-- Jesus. Like many of his "ex-gay" cronies, Mr. Wilkins' whole argument is based on a flawed notion, which is that gay people are innately Jesus-deprived, and that it's this lack of a relationship with the son of God that causes their mind to turn to same-sex desire. Which might be a valid argument if, in fact, before one had homosexual intercourse, they had to first renounce Christianity and all it entails. Or if that in order to have heterosexual desire, one had to first accept J-dog as their savior. However, neither of these theological steps are sexual prerequisites! Atheists, jews, agnostics -- all have attractions, desires, and yes, SEX! If Jesus is what one needs to alleviate their homosexual desires, then why do both homosexuality and heterosexuality exist in believing and non-believing communities? Why does Jesus require some folks to uber-believe in Him in order to "become straight," yet allow some to passively call themselves Christians and automatically become heteros without having to give the reasons behind their sexuality so much as a thought?
It just makes no sense!
Also worth addressing is Wilkin's idea that same-sex attractions are something that one can and should just suppress and refrain from acting upon (as he admits he himself does), and that those who are faced with same-sex attractions can reorient themselves through religion. Again -- why are we supposed to work so hard in order to fit ourselves into the heterosexist mold that shapes the world of folks like Mr. Wilkins? Personally, this writer has never, ever, ever, felt one genuine attraction to a female. He tried. Oh my, did he try. But the truth won out, as it always does! Just like the brother and sister who grew up in the same two-parent home with the same religious and moral teachings, yours truly had to follow his actual biological desire. It's enraging for Mr. Wilkins to say that the attraction is the moot point here when what we're talking about is, in fact, ATTRACTION! You can't just write off and suppress your feelings!!
What is most disturbing about the arguments of Mr. Wilkins and the entire "ex-gay" movement is that they feel they can just say whatever they want about gays, justify it with religious belief, and close the case on the subject. All conversation stops. They claim they are right simply because they are the ones bold enough to monopolize the moral high ground. In turn, they often lead impressionable gays who haven't reached a place of acceptance and understanding to a dark place where their souls will only be saved if they become "ex-gay." These "ex-gay" proponents don't cull any further data from research or science or biological reality or gay testimony or ANYTHING other than what they've accepted as lock solid Biblical fact (while ignoring other Biblical "facts" that are less convenient to their every day). Their actions are almost beyond "homophobic" or heterosexist, and more in the realm of "frighteningly, dangerously misguided."
In our opinion, the flaws in Mr. Wilkins' ideas can be summed up with this one quote:
"If beautiful women were the remedy for male homosexuality, there would be no gay men."
Because, you see, if homosexuality were truly able to be altered in any way, shape, or penis, beautiful women are the one thing that actually SHOULD be able to do the trick! After all, SEX WITH WOMEN is the thing to which gay men, by definition, collectively say "No thank you!" But as Mr. Wilkins correctly points out, women, no matter how beautiful, CAN'T convince a truly gay man to enter into a physical relationship. We just wish Mr. W would admit to himself and the world that the "temptation" in such a situation is not the gay man's inner desire for same-sex sex, but rather the outside entity that's trying to pull him from his reality!
And just like a woman trying to lure a gay man into bed, "ex-gays" are an ill-conceived "temptation!" It's our role duty to denounce their forbidden fruit.
Treat homosexuality as 'temptation,' former gay says [ABP via Biblical Recorder]
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