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03/06/2007
Men: Get in touch with your HUMAN side!
So this conversation from this morning's "Today" show rubbed us the wrong way just a tad:
Now, we don't want to imply that anyone in the chat is homophobic, heterosexist, misogynistic, or anything of that nature. However, they (and the segment's producer) are all subscribing to very antiquated notions of gender. Why is it "getting in touch with his feminine side" if a man expresses the human emotions that are ingrained in all of us!?
This writer has always said that one of the things I like most about being gay is that I have more freedom to express my full range of emotions and not worry that someone might think me girly for showing my sensitive side. Go ahead – call me girly! I’ll call you emotionless and cruel for being so tear-phobic. Yes, I get misty when Shelby bites it at the end of “Steel Magnolias;” for that I will never apologize. Yes, I get expressive when telling a funny story; it helps to accentuate. If you’re telling me that you and your wife are having another kid, straight males friends, be ready for some full body contact; I hug to congratulate. Emotional expression is a gift with which we’ve all been blessed! I, for one, refuse to withhold utilization of my full range simply because certain outbursts may be viewed as effeminate.
The male face benefits from moisturizer; it's a proven fact! While over-waxing/plucking can be admittedly frightening, eyebrows DO look much better as a pair than as a uni. Why are things that are beneficial to our appearance consider "sissyfied," or make one a "metrosexual"? And why does a flick that involves love, relationships, or human struggles get branded with the "chick" label? Your "masculinity" need not be compromised by any of the aforementioned experiences. I can use a Biore strip while drinking a beer as I prepare to go root on the Mets at Shea (where I will down a hot dog in two bites and probably get some mustard on my new Marc Jacobs tee when I jump to cheer for Delgado's grand slam).
Now, we don't want to imply that the male and female brains are exactly the same and that we all enjoy the same things. However, we really should be past the day where we censor or keep certain behaviors and experiences in check out of fear that our enjoyment of them will make us look like we're teetering to close to the opposite side of the gender fence. Segments likes the above "Today" clip are annoying in that "MALE" is presented as one type of thing, with those who do not fully subscribe to the "boy= sticks and stones" model portrayed as outside of the realm of normality. But again, we're not like angry and raging over the piece -- we just simply think such ideas should be nipped in the bud rather than propagated.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must go get a manicure so that my nail bed looks nice when gorging myself on buffalo wings at the local pub. Ooh, but first I must go decide whether to watch "24" or "Top Model" on my Tivo before I go.
Technorati Tags: gender
Your thoughts
:) Lovely little rant.
This is why feminism is part and parcel of the gay rights fight, why we are natural allies.
Posted by: Jeannette | Mar 6, 2007 11:02:59 AM
"Masculine" and "Feminine" are artificial, grammatical constructs. So-called "soft" emotions *are* feminine - because they are defined that way. Not because of anything intrinsic to do with male or female.
All people have a "masculine" side and a "feminine" side - because all people are people. They are defined the way they are because someone, at some point, saw more of the "feminine" qualities in females, and more of the "masculine" qualities in males - but generalisations never work.
My masculine side - I like playing rugby, and mock-wrestling matches, and other forms of recreational aggression. My feminine side - I wear skirts and will doll myself up to try to look as pretty as my girlfriend (even though I'm at a natural disadvantage, here! lol). I will coo over babies - and puppy dogs! I like chick-flicks.
Most people have some cross-over. People who try to pretend they don't are either statistical flukes, or (more likely) are too insecure to fully be themselves.
Posted by: Anon | Mar 6, 2007 3:19:51 PM
Agreed, anon. One thing that sparked my interest in this is that I've noticed the "Today" show making generalizations like this far more frequently in recent months. And there is virtually no acknowledgment of gay people/ relationships.
Posted by: G-A-Y | Mar 6, 2007 3:26:42 PM
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