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06/12/2008

Lifestyles: It's a condom brand, not a gay descriptor

by Jeremy Hooper

200806121134Note to politicians public figures everyone who makes up the whole of society: We gays do not have a "lifestyle." The idea that we Do have a lifestyle is an offensive far-right attack that is been used to stigmatize us. The term "gay lifestyle" should taste to your tongue about as bad as urine-coated cow pies.

We say this after learning that on a conference call yesterday, Barack Obama's openly gay Deputy Campaign Manager. used the term "gay lifestyle" when answering a question from journalist Matt Comer about the Donnie McCLurkin incident. Read the story and hear the audio of the gaffe over at PageOneQ:

Obama campaign's 'gay lifestyle' gaffe [P1Q]

Now, it's most likely that Mr. Hildebrand simply misspoke. In fact, he's issued a statement to P1Q saying:

"I certainly know that being gay is not a choice - but I am proud to be gay. I did not intend to imply anything except that it is important that we try to find common ground with those who are not supportive of LGBT rights."

So for us, this isn't like an "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" kind of moment, but rather a teachable one that we can use to help silence the rhetoric that pulls our orientations out of our bodies and presents them as nothing more than a "chosen" pastime. That nonsense has gone on for far too long.

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Your thoughts

I think it's one of those things that's frustrating because it's so subtle. The far right, like you say, loves to refer to The Gay Lifestyle™, some all encompassing and, no doubt, very unsavory life of sex, drugs and pride parades. This is opposed to when people who are gay use the term "lifestyle" to describe certain aspects of their life. For example, "after coming out of the closet, I started living a more openly gay lifestyle."

It seems like it's similar to the difference between conservative nuts referring to The Gay Agenda™, and a gay person, who is politically active or politically minded and who has an agenda, because everyone who is politically active or minded has agendas.

So maybe the connection is that they're both cases of obtuse thinking, where they try to take things that are common to just about everyone (political agendas, lifestyles, etc), and dress them up with hyperbole, brand them, and then mindlessly apply them to everyone like some red stamp of disapproval. It's mental laziness.

Posted by: zortnac | Jun 12, 2008 1:06:27 PM

Proofreader's day off -

Past time should probably be pastime.

Posted by: dave b | Jun 12, 2008 2:15:57 PM

Nonsense, I have a lifestyle. It's just boring as hell. Get up, go to work, go home, start dinner, walk the dog, watch the news till the hubby gets home, eat dinner, pretend to be busy while hubby cleans the kitchen, watch some TV, call a friend or two while hubby walks the dog, go to bed. I know that seems exciting enough, but sometimes we get to go to the grocery, clean house, go to church, call the kids, or do washing. Sometimes we may go to a movie or a concert, but that's just too exciting to think about.

Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Jun 12, 2008 2:22:27 PM

My blog is called Gay Lifestyle because it is a place where I become an advocate for the gay community. I choose to use this term because I feel it is more politcally correct when trying to open peoples closed mids about gay and lesbian people. I choose the word lifestyle as politeness and not as demeaning.

Before you change people's minds, you must give them something to ponder. I feel a lifestyle is mre suitable than where they would go themselves.

Feel free to stop by. I have a great readership and hope to continue supporting and speaking my mine until things change everywhere.

Posted by: Blondie Writes | Jun 12, 2008 2:25:09 PM

Thanks, Dave.

Proofread? That's what you readers are for :-)

Posted by: G-A-Y | Jun 12, 2008 2:25:14 PM

They make it sound so glamorous. "Gay Lifestyle"... I fucking wish. Personally, I feel like I'm living a hippie lifestyle, with a gay slant. Not nearly half the aromatherapy and protein shakes that pop culture and mainstream clichés would've had me prepare for.

Posted by: Chris | Jun 12, 2008 6:59:30 PM

"Lifestyle" implies choice and is used by 2 kinds of people: the religious right when they want to appear to be loving while demonizing lgbt people, and those who just don't know any better.

I do indeed have a lifestyle, but it has nothing to do with being gay. I go to work, pay my bills, and most of the activities I engage in usually have a fair number of straight people doing the same thing.

Posted by: keltic | Jun 13, 2008 3:55:46 PM

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