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There's hyperbole and then there's Barber

by Jeremy Hooper

Picture 20-29Liability-in-waiting Matt Barber has again put pen to paper, as he continues his job of destroying the last remaining shreds of credibility enjoyed by the Concerned Women for America. Some choice quotes from Matt's latest anti-marriage equality missive:

"If marriage is a Rembrandt, then the ridiculous and oxymoronic notion of "gay marriage" is a Rembrandt knock-off from the pages of Mad Magazine. It's a silly novelty."
"Ellen compounds the sin of homosexuality by using the platform she's been given to lead others astray. She guides her many adoring housewife fans into rebellion against God's divine and explicit natural order by suggesting they celebrate sin and entertain, along with her, the "gay marriage" delusion."
"I'm sorry (well not really) for my lack of contrived "sensitivity," but Ellen, sweetie (to borrow from a presidential candidate), no amount of wishful thinking or going through the motions will make your illicit same-sex "relationship" with Ms. DeRossi a "marriage." You may get a piece of paper that says it is, but, in the eyes of God and most of the world, your counterfeit "marriage" will never be worth the paper it's written on."
FULL: Taking the Plunge in a Pool with No Water [CWA (archived copy)]

Plus, in another part of his piece, Matt refers to same-sex unions as an "experiment from the Island of Dr. Moreau". Then he titles the entire thing, "Taking the Plunge in a Pool with No Water."

Ya know, it's really just a shame for Matty that Bombastic Rhetoric isn't an Olympic sport. In this current Olympic season, America would have no greater hope for a medal!

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Your thoughts

Seeing as he described sex between two people of the same gender as "clumsy" and "crude" I can tell him from experience that he's sooooo wrong on that one. Unless his first time just didn't go very well.

Posted by: Daimeon | Jun 4, 2008 7:30:00 PM

God, seriously, what is wrong with him?

I love how he hides behind his version of God, as if that somehow washes away his own sin of being an arrogant, lying fool who actually contributes to driving people AWAY from faith. Every single time one of these freaks starts typing or speaking, yet more people who might be edified by faith are given another reason to go "ugh...." and reconsider the notion. I'm not suggesting that faith or spirituality are necessary for people, but many testify to its positive effects in their lives.

It's also funny to me that these sorts of opinion pieces always delineate a line between those who have faith (them) and those who are "godless" (gays and everyone else who doesn't agree). I understand why they do it: their readers are ignorant. But it's funny because SO MANY gay people, hell, progressives in general, are such deeply spiritual people, and yes, many of them are devout Christians.

Posted by: Evan | Jun 4, 2008 7:32:51 PM

These guys are desperate! They know that if they lose in California, they have lost everywhere. They are going to get nastier and more vindictive as the election approaches.

And, Matty's job is probably on the line with this one . . . but he can take solace in the fact that he and Pete will finally be able to hookup in San Francisco and tie the knot! No more fake rage, no more thesaurus searches to come up with less tired figurative language, no more self-hate . . .

A much better world awaits you Matt!

Posted by: Dick Mills | Jun 4, 2008 8:04:27 PM

It's very true, Dick. It's interesting how when things looked darkest for our side, we dug in our heels, learned our stuff, and formed our arguments. We informed ourselves and saw what we need to do to reach our goals.

But there movement, on the other hand, just gets more and more desperate. Their lies get more egregious and their attacks more vitriolic. It's all starting to really come out now. All that we've been working towards is being revealed, all while the world is watching.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Jun 4, 2008 8:15:32 PM

who is the guy in the picture?

Posted by: banshiii | Jun 4, 2008 9:30:18 PM

Why it's Matt, of course.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Jun 4, 2008 10:39:00 PM

I can invoke the words of God too. How about John 11:35? Because Jesus would do just that when he sees words like Matt's ........ "Jesus wept."

Matt, it's "What would Jesus do?", not "Who would Jesus hate?" It's little wonder that so many in the GLBT community has Bible burn.

Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Jun 4, 2008 11:40:54 PM

How can a cute, full-figured man be so repulse on the inside?

Posted by: Zack | Jun 5, 2008 2:30:50 AM

Aww.. you have to feel for him. It's like time is moving so fast, yet he's frozen in place. Also, there went any semblance of well-composed debate. The poorly conceived insults are tre chic.

Posted by: Chris | Jun 5, 2008 4:41:06 AM

Matt Barber wrote: Even "gay sex" (male-male anal sodomy) is a crude, man-made imitation of the natural heterosexual reproductive process (only the fallen mind of man could concoct such depraved and foul behavior).

My jaw literally dropped at this line. I knew Barber had some weird religious beliefs, but he really believes humans first developed anal sex! Was sodomy Cain and Abel's real problem? Did all the other species just start following their example? I shudder when thinking about the tortured reasoning that must go into these columns.

Posted by: jmc | Jun 5, 2008 9:17:30 AM

The arrogance!

Posted by: Chris | Jun 5, 2008 10:14:07 AM

Does anyone else love the image of Ellen DeGeneres leading an angry horde of discontented midwestern housewives through the streets of West Hollywood, raging "against God's divine and explicit natural order"?

Wouldn't that just be the best ever?

Posted by: staygoldenponyboy | Jun 5, 2008 3:57:46 PM

Yes, staygoldenponyboy, but surely they would all be dancing their Keds off as their hip lesbian ringleader guided them towards the apocalypse.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Jun 5, 2008 4:02:26 PM

That fat woman wears a blazer very well.

Posted by: Fredo | Jun 5, 2008 6:46:16 PM

Anyone else catch this line from his jeremiad?

"God will not be mocked."

Golly, what other organization [Westboro] uses [Baptist] that [Church] exact same phrase in practically every "press release"? Is he going to start in on the "gay porn problem" in the military next? Or maybe start blaming everything that goes wrong on us (and God)?

He may try to distance himself, but in the end, they're not all that different.

Posted by: PSUdain | Jun 6, 2008 12:55:39 AM

fr the article:

>...When same-sex friendships (or more often, seconds-old acquaintances) are twisted and sexualized, practitioners of "the sin that dare not speak its name" are forced, at every level, to merely mimic the genuine article. They jump through a series of inelegant hoops to create a fantasy world wherein two people of the same gender clumsily imitate natural heterosexual pairings properly designed for procreation and the healthy rearing of children. ...<

Good grief where DOES this nutcase get this stuff? From a gumball machine? He's nutty enough to believe it.

Posted by: Gretchen | Jun 8, 2008 5:32:16 PM

Hey fatso, er, I mean Matt, focus on getting rid of that belly (gluttony is sin) and then claim to follow Jesus,OK? Church pig.

Posted by: nikko | Jun 10, 2008 3:41:55 AM

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