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Lesbians: Made from Betty-craving brains, not Betty Crocker mixes!

by Jeremy Hooper

When we see a headline like this...

Picture 3-136

...we immediately rub our hands together, as we ramp up our expectations for an all-out burst of "so bad it's good" homo-hostility. But alas, the piece that accompanies this headline on One News now is mainly just another boring condemnation of Katy Perry's summer hit "I Kissed A Girl" from another social conservative who sees the song's lyrics as a call beckoning all young ladies to Saphhic Land. Here's a sample:

This weekend there will be many thousands of young girls who will “playfully” choose to “kiss a girl to try it” after they are nonchalantly coaxed by this “fluffy” hit.

From the California Supreme Court’s decisions regarding marriage, to the skyrocketing popularity of this song, to the nearly non-stop introduction of the homosexual agenda into almost every facet of our culture, we are facing the rise of the most homosexually friendly generation in history.

Homosexual experimentation is also an epidemic. This is the fruit of years of marketing that has literally altered the worldviews of our nation’s 80 million millenials.

Thoughts that might be worth dignifying if not for one little thing: Homosexuality is not like that cherry Chap Stick that Katy Perry confesses to having pulled from the lips of another! So what if your daughter kisses another girl "just to try it"? Hell, this writer once kissed a pogo ball to practice his smooches! But just like I'm not now or ever planning to marry a bouncing toy from the 1980's, these young girls are not going to parlay their youthful curiosity into a loving embrace unless such is already in their heads to begin with!

As a teen in the mid-90's, I can quite quite clearly remember some minor hubbub in my then-socially conservative world about Jill Sobule's "I Kissed a Girl." But despite every girl in my graduating class knowing every lyric, there was still not one out lesbian at my ten year reunion! Why? Because closets went for good prices in the mid 90's songs don't make people lesbians! If you really want to worry about what your daughters are doing in their bedrooms, focus on some of the less-than-stellar role models who've been given a heightened forum over the past several years. Or look to the onslaught of negative imagery that is directed their way. As for the kissing thing? Well, their bodies will guide that in ways that neither praise nor condemnation ever could!

Hey, Let’s Make Middle School Lesbians! [ONN]

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Your thoughts

What’s funny is the first two paragraphs you quoted almost sound like a victory statement on a gay friendly site! It makes me feel good that they are recognizing our hard earned achievements, thanks Ms. Perry!!!!

Posted by: Randy | Aug 4, 2008 5:02:27 PM

You're right, Randy. Strike the word "agenda" and change the "homosexuals" to gays and lesbians and it could very much be a celebration of acceptance.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Aug 4, 2008 5:11:47 PM

"Johnnie Moore" is that a woman? She (or he) should probably have someone spell-check her work before she publishes it. Millenials should be millennials.

But, she also should probably more properly attribute the loosening of the morally repressive talon's grip from around the throats of the "80 million millennials" to the fact that they are more informed and less gullible than any generation in history. I have long believed that the reason the radical religious right opposes anything academic that they can't control is that (unfiltered) knowledge trumps their arguments. The very fact that the bible attributes Eve's fall (and her subsequent corruption of Adam) to eating from the "Tree of Knowledge. . ." is because knowledge is the antithesis of religion.

And, the more knowledgeable they are, the more likely it is that they can spell.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 4, 2008 5:38:04 PM

Even in the song itself, Perry sings, "It don't mean I'm in love tonight." But small details like that don't matter to these folks. You have to think beyond black and white to understand nuance.

And...the pogo ball! I practiced my French-kissing technique on my own left hand! :-D

Posted by: GreenEyedLilo | Aug 4, 2008 5:58:23 PM

"homosexually friendly"

Ha! I wish!

Posted by: JeffRob | Aug 4, 2008 6:13:17 PM

The trouble comes when girls are told that if they "like it", then they are lesbians and should not marry a man. This song might not be saying that, but it gets them to take a step through the door into bisexuality, and then the GSA gets them to pull the door shut behind them and be exclusively gay. And that makes a significant difference to their lives, because if they are gay they won't be able to have children together with the person they love without turning to genetic engineering techniques that are expensive and unethical and would be bad for the planet and society. The problem is that kids are taught that if they "like it", they don't have a right to be straight. They should be taught that everyone has a right to be straight, even if they like kissing a girl, or don't like it, as the case may be.

Posted by: John Howard | Aug 4, 2008 6:55:26 PM

Oh, John from EggandSperm.com. Your views on sexuality are always so...interesting.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Aug 4, 2008 7:02:02 PM

I'm surprised OneNewsNow doesn't mention the vast potential that this song possesses for gay men.

All they have to do is get a bunch of gay dance clubs to play it (under the auspice of a techno remix), and voila! Gay men all of the nation will be going home with their hags.

They could completely wipe out the entire gay male population and they don't even realize it!

This song is could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Posted by: Jake | Aug 4, 2008 7:15:44 PM

Nice conspiracy theory, John Howard. Now tell us the one about the one-armed man, UFOs and records being played backwards.

Posted by: a. mcewen | Aug 4, 2008 7:19:33 PM

Not all conspiracy theories are wrong. The fact is, there are people that want to find an excuse to abandon sexual reproduction that is practiced by sub-standard "breeders" and replace it with eugenic genetic engineering. Enabling same-sex couples to have biological children is one of the strategies to do this. It pressures gay people into being guinnea pigs for experiments (or rather, their children are the guinnea pigs). I think it should be rejected, as love makes a family and having children together is a heterosexual thing that gays shouldn't be told they need to emulate. Gay rights doesn't need to include same-sex conception, it isn't necessary in order to have equality.

What's your position on same-sex conception? Would you agree to the Egg and Sperm Civil Union Compromise if it was up to you? (see my site eggandsperm.org) Which of the three parts do you agree or disagree with?

Posted by: John Howard | Aug 4, 2008 7:47:05 PM

John, I had an absolute bummer of a day today, so thanks for the laugh. I can just see, when our planet's depopulated, our few lab-created descendants blaming Summer 2008, the era of Katy Perry, for their misery.

My wife and I always talk about how we love our friends' kids, but love being able to give them back more.

Posted by: GreenEyedLilo | Aug 4, 2008 8:52:02 PM

GreenEyedLilo, you're welcome, but please don't be a jerk - take this seriously. You have the power to bring equal protections including federal recognition to same-sex couples across the country. Don't laugh at their plight, they don't demand same-sex conception rights, they just want CU's with equal benefits.

Posted by: John Howard | Aug 4, 2008 10:32:05 PM

Sorry, I'm still hung up on the pogo ball thing.

Posted by: Michael | Aug 4, 2008 10:58:14 PM

You are ridiculous, this is not an issue, please stop.
Though it did give me a chuckle. :-)

Posted by: Randy | Aug 5, 2008 1:00:26 PM

Randy, we've discussed this before at this blog. (Title of post was "Sanctity of closeted, loveless marriages", back in January)

I am trying to make it an issue, because it is the most important issue out there. The only acceptable ending for this whole thing is enacting the three parts of the Egg and Sperm Civil Union compromise. Anything else means that either marriages aren't guaranteed a right to conceive children together, same-sex couples don't have equal protections, and/or genetic engineering takes over. All unacceptable.

Please help make this an issue so that we can get federal recognition to couples that need it right now, help get CU's enacted in all 50 states, and preserve natural conception rights.

Posted by: John Howard | Aug 5, 2008 4:06:53 PM

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