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'...Whose bias was so long he could suck it!'

by Jeremy Hooper

In a bizarre creative display, longtime 'mo foe Peter LaBarbera has pecked out a pair of anti-marriage equality limericks:

Limericks on Prop 8

There once were some people called “gay”
Who were used to getting their way.
They lost on “queer marriage,”
Then set out to disparage
Churches, and make Mormons pay.

“Down with Prop 8!”
Angry “gays” said it was all about “hate.”
Their hypocrisy uncanny,
They roughed up a granny
As for liberal court activism they wait.

We say: "OOH, SUPER FUN! Here, let us try":

Limericks on Prop 8 (from one who has been truly hurt by it)

There's a group for whom rights are a quarrel
They're obsessed with both anal and oral
Out of boredom or hurt
They treat gays like dirt
And then smugly call themselves 'moral'

Prop 8 stripped rights away
From folks, both les and gay
The vote was historic
Were they cruel, mean, or sick?'
Is what some in the future might say

My wedding was planned for C-A
But now it's not, because I'm gay
Must alter plans
Due to unrighteous bans
Hell yes, these 'values voters' will pay!

Prop 8ers are crying 'victim'
You'd think someone had kicked 'em
But it's just more spin
From Team 'Gay is a Sin'
Is Deception a Godly dictum?

And finally, our favorite:

There once was a gay man from Nantucket
He can marry there and Peter LaBarbera can do absolutely nothing about it.

Fell free to use them.

Limericks on Prop 8 [AFT]

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Your thoughts

Oh, yeah...I'm not that creative, but I know some here will be.
However, your last stanza caught me, as I was just thinking...why on earth aren't we hearing HORROR stories out of Massachusetts??!! Gee, if things are OK there and there has been this GOD awful Gay Marriage in place there, and peoples kids being 'exposed' to it and all...why haven't we heard of all the nasty conversions and attackes etc.
Don't tell me things are working well in a state where that dreaded SSM is allowed?? How can that be. How about from all the COUNTRIES where it is allowed. There must be some $$ going into real sociologic studies, haven't they revealed the HORROR yet?

Posted by: LOrion | Dec 5, 2008 11:54:11 AM

Porno Pete writes limericks. The evidence just keeps piling up.

Posted by: RainbowPhoenix | Dec 5, 2008 12:44:26 PM

Why are "marriage defenders" so bad at trying to be funny?

Oh right. Because their "jokes" are always at our expense.

Posted by: fannie | Dec 5, 2008 1:23:10 PM

Many closeted guys have married a she.
For social approval it's a major key.
What a fate for a girl.
The thought makes me hurl.
Just accept being gay as a way to be.

There are some who say "you dare not be gay, son."
"Become an ex-gay, and have life in the sun."
If you think that's true,
here's a question for you.
Would you want your daughter to marry one?

If you’re gay and sad you may be enticed
to become an ex-gay through Jesus Christ.
If you agree to pay,
they will help you pray.
But you’ll still be gay after the heist.

Americans for Truth is really for lies
all about gays to please Christian allies.
They bash twenty four seven.
It's a ticket to heaven.
Who cares if a gay person hurts or cries?

Americans for Truth has an anti-gay shtick
with Peter LaBarbera as its leading prick.
Every hour every day
he thinks all things gay.
I wonder if he secretly lusts for a dick.

Peter LaBarbera is really a troll
with his head in a dark place like a mole.
With prideful ignorance,
combined with arrogance.
It’s why he’s viewed as just an asshole.

Posted by: Richard Rush | Dec 5, 2008 1:48:17 PM


That granny they 'roughed up'? She wandered into a 'No on 8' crowd carrying a fucking giant cross and babbling religious shit until a television camera showed up and then she had the gall to act like a victim. Totally milking it she was. Old or not, someone should have punched the bitch's teeth out.

Posted by: | Dec 5, 2008 4:01:32 PM

LOrion: I've tried to suggest that folks point to Massachusetts to demonstrate that the foretold calamities have not befallen our fair state. One major thing that has happened of is that our sports teams (save for the Bruins!) have all had championship seasons in the years immediately following marriage equality:
2003: New England Patriots (football)
2004: Boston Red Sox (baseball), New England Patriots (football)
2005: (okay, we're not
2006: always all that great)
2007: Boston Red Sox (baseball)
2008: Boston Celtics (basketball)

HOWEVER, there are things that have happened that the enemies of marriage equality would consider "bad." Things such as
-- gay and lesbian couples are accepted as part of society, and no one blinks when I (a guy) say, "my husband"
-- straight people, even those who are a little anti-gay, aren't all bent out of shape by the existence of married gay couples
-- kids think it's okay for gay people to get married, or that it's even EXPECTED that gay people will get married
-- people find it easier to come out of the closet and be true to themselves, leading to happier lives for all involved
-- people wonder what all the fuss is about in California (look at the donations in favor of Prop 8: there were 19 reported donors from Mass, who gave a total of $7450, compared with 895 people who donated to No on Prop 8)

These scare the crap out of our enemies because this shows the true power of love and family, and it tells them that they will ultimately lose -- and they know it. They're scared.

Actually, I think this _IS_ why they're not bringing up Massachusetts all that much.

Posted by: tjc | Dec 5, 2008 4:09:20 PM

Oh! tic, I just saw your response!...Thank you so much. I had posted the LIMERICK fun as a diary on PHB and it got bumped up to a thread...some good responses re the limericks, but I just had to get serious and post your comment there too!

It would seem to be a great way to spend GLBT $$$ to fund getting some of this data out to the public ... could be via a newspaper ad on Mothers Day's, Father's Days, in fact all holidays...showing loving GLBTQA's with their own Real Families enjoying life.... okay the season is getting to me, but you get what I mean. I know there was a wealthy gay benefactor last year giving out grant money to help causes...PFLAG got a bunch and it helped them get their National Website updated and running much better. Maybe some is already at work in Massachusetts..but if not it should be!!

Okay since this comment is so serious...I will post the 'reply' Limericks in the next one.

Posted by: LOrion | Dec 6, 2008 11:55:27 AM

K, here's what a few of the PHB crew came up with.

Ode to The Peter
There's a sad little bigot named Petey
Whose energy could help the needy
Instead he delights
In opposing gay rights
Even God wonders why he's so seedy.

I love it, love it, love it!
Your limerick is perfectly formed
And shows Petey as truly deformed
You are able to write
His spiritual plight
Proves you're crafty as well as informed

....and an apt final final comment.

Sorry, Peter...
There are three categories of limerick:
I) dirty limericks 
II) limericks about limericks 
III) bad limericks
While it's possible for a limerick to fall into more than one category (combinations of I and II are popular, and some manage to be all three), every limerick falls into at least one of those categories.
And, Pete?  Your limerick isn't dirty, and it isn't about limericks.

Posted by: LOrion | Dec 6, 2008 11:57:11 AM

The Peter isn't happy, as he posted another. He claims all this is hate from the LGBT. I know The Peter reads here and since you can't comment on his web site. I thought I would post this here as well. To all those AFTAH that claim we, the LGBT are violent, here is a comparison of what you call violent crimes and what are really violent crimes.

Lansing, Mich. » Services at an evangelical church were disrupted by members of an extremist group called Bash Back! An affiliated group claimed it poured glue into the locks of an LDS [Latter-Day Saints] church building near Olympia, Wash., and spray painted its walls. [Note: we went to a Bash Back! website and apparently there is a dispute over whether the Washington attack occurred and if so, whether it had a connection to the lesbian/anarchist group that carried out the Michigan church assault-AFTAH];

VS this,
Ronnie Paris, only 3, died of injuries after being beaten by his father, who was trying to "make Ronnie Antonio tough and to teach him to fight, because he did not want Ronnie Antonio to grow up to be gay."

Riverside, Calif. » Forty to 50 signs supporting Proposition 8 were found arranged in the form of a swastika on the front lawn of a Roman Catholic church.
Ryan Keith Skipper, 25, was brutally stabbed twenty times and his body was dumped by the side of the road in Winter Haven, Florida in March of 2007. His killers drove around in his blood-soaked car, bragging how they had killed a "faggot".

VS this,
San Luis Obispo, Calif. » Vandals poured adhesive on a doormat, key pad and window at two LDS churches and peppered a nearby Assembly of God church with eggs and toilet paper. Sacramento » Ten area church buildings were vandalized, according to The Sacramento Bee.
Sean Kennedy Murdered May 16, 2007 punched and hit his head on the pavement,causing his brain to be separated from the brain stem in South Carolina in 2007.

Orangevale, Calif. » An LDS chapel sign and walkways were tagged with the phrases, "No on 8? and "hypocrites."

VS this,
Philip Walsted, 24, was struck in the head with a baseball bat nearly twenty times and killed in Tucson, Arizona in 2002.

Arapahoe County, Colo. » The Arapahoe County Sheriff's Office is investigating a case of a Book of Mormon that was set on fire and left burning on an LDS church's doorstep as a bias-motivated arson. Wasatch Front » More than seven LDS churches have had glass doors shattered, six of them by BB gunshots.

VS This,
Michael Sandy, 28, was struck by a car, sustaining massive head injuries, as he ran from his attackers in New York.

LDS temples in Salt Lake City and Los Angeles » The temples, along with a Catholic Knights of Columbus printing press in Connecticut, all received packages with white powder substances in the mail. Syracuse » A Syracuse Junior High seminary was evacuated after a mysterious letter was sent to the building (No proof that this was sent by any pro-gay people)

VS This
Lawrence King, 15. Shot in the head by a fellow student.
Authorities said Lawrence King, 15, was targeted this week by a younger boy because he came to E.O. Green Junior High in Oxnard dressed like a woman, The Associated Press reported. Oxnard police have not specified a motive but said there appeared to be a personal dispute between the two. Prosecutors have charged 14-year-old Brandon David McInerney with premeditated murder.

Weber State University » A plastic plant was lit on fire inside a Weber State University Institute building after an evening talk given by LDS Apostle Elder Boyd K. Packer. (Again, no proof that this was done by pro-gay people)

VS This
Adolphus Simmons, 18, North Charleston, SC That Adolphus Simmons dressed like a woman was of no consequence to his neighbors at the Bradford Apartments in North Charleston. To them, his shooting death Monday night was a senseless loss of a beloved friend. The effeminate 18-year-old charmed them with his always jovial and sometimes flamboyant personality, they said. Police were working on leads in the case late Tuesday. There was no
indication that his slaying was a hate crime, said Spencer Pryor, police public information officer.

Farmington » Farmington police are looking for a person who spray painted "Nobody is born a biggot" (sic) on a concrete wall outside an LDS church.

VS This,
Pvt. Barry Winchell, 21, was beaten to death with a baseball bat by a fellow soldier for loving a transgender woman in 1999.

A Torrance, Calif.» A man is charged with a felony hate-crime assault for allegedly using an anti-gay marriage lawn sign to attack a gay man wearing a "No on 8? button.(Thank You For this Peter)

But Still, VS This,
Scott Amedure, 32, was shot twice in the chest after disclosing a secret crush on a male neighbor on a national TV show in Michigan in 1993.

San Jose, Calif.» Police were called to a house in the southern part of town after homeowners reported their garage had been spray-painted with "No on 8? messages. The homeowners had signs on their lawn supporting the measure.

VS This,
Scotty Joe Weaver, 18, was beaten, strangled, cut, burned and found at the side of a rural Alabama road in 2004.

Sacramento suburb » Police arrested three teens after finding 53 stolen "Yes on 8? signs in their car.

VS This,
Matthew Shepard, 21, was robbed, pistol remote, rural area in Laramie, Wyoming in 1998.

Salt Lake City » A man reported his lawn sign, opposing the LDS church's role in politics, was set on fire outside his home near 900 East and 900 South.

VS This,
Daniel Yakovleff was found stabbed to death. He was just 20 years old, he was a South End. He was also openly gay. A Savin Hill apartment where Daniel was killed. The Boston Globe reports that Odegard has told police he was sleeping when the murder took place. Boston Police tell that Odegard is a person of interest in Daniel's case.

You see Peter, the violence has been against LGBT people. I didn't notice one death in your list of "violent crimes"

Posted by: HappyCat | Dec 8, 2008 2:46:10 AM

Rhythm is all important in limericks -- it what makes them pleasing, aprt from the rhyme.

Richard Rush:

I reworked your first to scan better,

Many closeted guys marry shes
For society's approval to seize
What a fate for a girl
The thought makes me hurl
Just accept that you're gay if you please

Posted by: TikiHead | Dec 8, 2008 11:00:33 AM

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