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Breaking: We won't have to hear 'Sweet Caroline' at every NY political function we attend

by Jeremy Hooper

You've probably already heard by now, but if not: Professed marriage equality advocate Caroline Kennedy has officially pulled herself out of contention for Secretary Clinton's NY Senate seat:

So a thought-to-be-inevitable Democratic female contender is now out of the running for Hillary Clinton's seat? You'd have had to be in a political coma for the last year to not see some irony there. Now if Patterson ends up replacing his top choice with a young, charismatic, African American man, we're gonna be fully convinced that there are only about three scripts in Democratic politics.

But curse of the female frontrunner aside: We just hope that whoever ends up getting the nod will be as on our community's side as C-Ken seemed to be. Oh, and if he or she can do so without an internet "you know"gate, that would be good too.

**NOTE: Updated sources say that Ted Kennedy's health actually had nothing to do with Caroline's decision. Lots of rumors as to why she pulled out. little fact at this point.

**UPDATE: It now looks like the seat's gonna go to Kirsten Gillibrand, a conservative Democrat with a mixed-to-decent LGBT rights record.

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