Good As You

What an absolute darling. Finally someone talking sense.
Thirty years ago, when I was twenty and had my first job, I used to bus into SF on Sat. nights and rent motel rooms for hustlers, not for services rendered you dirty hogs. If they didn't have to pay rent for one night, I figured they wouldn't have to turn as many tricks. Naive no?
These were kids that had had to flee horrible situations at home. After that experience, I always saw red when the activists got on their soapboxes about everyone coming out. And anyway, so what if people are ashamed to be gay? Everyone has to deal with emotion weakness at their own pace.

Wilberforce -

You may not have listened to her completely.

"so what if people are ashamed to be gay" is not what she said.

also,

"Everyone has to deal with emotion weakness at their own pace".

Besides the singular/plural type mismatch, my limited experience has been that gay people are not ashamed to be gay and have extraordinary emotional strength, and certainly not emotional weakness. It is a point of envy.

She's just saying that declaring your truths to others can be very dangerous.

db

Dave: I don't think Wilberforce is quoting her in saying those lat two comments -- I think he's conveying his own thoughts.

I have always felt that no one should be pressured to come out. I lost some friends and relatives when I came out, but at least I didn't lose a job or an apartment. Politically, it would be great if everybody came out, but I wonder how often people come out for that reason. My coming out was certainly not altruistic. I came out because staying in the closet just required too much energy.

I've always felt that people should be as out as their situation will allow. Nobody should ever risk personal harm, be it physical or mental. For me personally, I knew I was gay when I was a tiny kid, and had fully accepted it by the time I was 15. But it simply was not an option for me to be out until college. My town was tiny and blood red, and my family had made it QUITE CLEAR that being gay would not be accepted in their household. So I waited until the very first moment when I felt safe (at 19).

There are far too many of those "love the sinner, hate the sin" lying-liar types whose true colors show in their "hate the kid, because (s)he's gay" actions. Kids in those circumstances need to be very careful.

On the other hand, I was converted by Signorile and others on outing. When they first started that, I and others of my generation were horrified. We had the impression that anyone was fair game, which was uncool. But I think a concensus developed over the years to use it only against those who were actually doing harm to the community. That was cool.

Her advice to those wanting to come out was exactly what my brother did with our very conservative family. He came out to me first. The only one who really had a problem was our mother. I took it upon myself to act as liason between them, and she came around eventually.