Good As You

It's easy to tell someone else to come out when you don't walk in their shoes.

When/if to come out should be an individual's choice, and they should not be judged for that choice.

Lord knows they are judged enough already.

Bonnie: Agreed. I always suggest that people should be as out as their situation will allow. Your safety, your health, your physical well-being -- all should come first.

Oh Dear ...It's funny the things people tell themselves to justify being in the closet.....true safety is importanr but closets are bad for your health safety and well being too!

I think that's a little unfair, John. Yes, the closet is a major negative that can and does rob people of happiness. But there are some people who, because of their circumstances, simply cannot come out.

That was me at 15, when I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. For me, coming out would have meant being kicked out of my house and being ostracized by my tiny TN town. So I had no choice but to wait. And then at 19, after I had moved away and had some measure of financial security, I leapt at the chance to shout my truth from the rooftops. The negatives, in terms of family, still came my way -- but I was equipped to deal with them.

So I think it's a major trivialization to act as if anyone who is closeted is simply "justifying" it. The closeted people who are making lame excuses that hold no merit are a different story. But the ones to whom I was referring are the ones who have real threats, physical and mental, that force them to hold off a bit.