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Been there, defended that

by Jeremy Hooper

Reacting to the news that Hillary and Julie Goodridge, the couple whose names adorn the historic court case that won marriage equality in Massachusetts, are getting a divorce, Kris Mineau of the so-called Massachusetts Family Institute makes the following disgusting-yet-expected assertions:

"Divorce is a very painful issue, but I also can't help but reflect on the pain this couple has caused on the commonwealth and the nation to redefine marriage. And now they're getting divorced? It doesn't make a lot of sense"

"Obviously, they don't hold the institution in very high esteem."

Lesbians split after leading 'marriage' fight [WND]

Now, we were going to respond to this. But then we remembered that we already did say all that we need to say about this situation back in July of 2006, when we first heard that the Goodridges were separating, and when we saw that the Traditional Values Coaltion's Lou Sheldon was trying to make an example out of the couple. So rather than waste anymore breath on these desperate attempts by social conservatives to ignore the staggering hetero divorce rate in order to attack gay unions, we are instead going to rerun that 2.5 year old piece. Enjoy the nostalgic journey:

July 24, 2006

Sheldon: I'm worried about the child's welfare -- so here, let me drag her parents' names through the mud

Speaking about the apparent breakup of gay marriage pioneers Julie and Hilary Goodridge, the Traditional Values Coalition's Lou Sheldon says via press release:

"It comes as no surprise to me that the two lesbians who were at the center of the gay marriage controversy in Massachusetts have now separated after only two years,”...“Homosexual relationships are notoriously unstable—and many male homosexual activists openly admit they don’t want monogamous marriages.

Okay, first point of order: the couple actually met 21 years ago. Had they been able to marry in the 80's or 90's, it's likely that they would've. So to say that they've "separated after only two years" is completely deceitful.

And as for the common "pro-family" claim that gay relationships are unstable: These claims are all-too-often based in our opposition's traditionally flawed methodology. While an analysis of this deceit requires a more detailed look than we can give right now, we will give you one study reality that we've run into time and time again: That partnered gay couples who live their lives in monogamous relationships are a much harder group to pinpoint. And when someone tries to study gay promiscuity, they all-too-often cull their representative gay population from places where gays congregate, such as bars, clubs, and pride events, all of which are traditionally populated more by singles than monogamous couples. So then they will take whatever results they may find from such a group of gays and compare those with the habits of married heterosexuals, who have all pledged a vow of fidelity to one another. So you have gays of all stripes and levels of commitments compared to couples who are in legally-sealed unions. As for gays and lesbians who are quietly raising kids and whose biggest indulgence is having the full-fat ice cream instead of the light version? Well they tend to go unrepresented.

Not to mention, in a summer where the top songs in straight clubs include the lyrics "You expect me to just let you hit it/ But will you still respect me if you get it?" "I'm tellin' you loosen up my buttons babe/But you keep frontin'/Sayin' what you gon' do to me/ But I ain't seen nothin," and "I'm such a lady but I'm dancing like a ho/ Because you know what, I don't give a f***/ So here we go!" it seems a bit unfair to be pointing the finger of promiscuity in one direction.

Moving on -- Sheldon later says of the Goodridges:

The separation of Julie and Hillary Goodridge is tragic not only for their daughter, but for our entire culture, which has been undermined by their successful lobbying efforts to have homosexual marriage legalized in Massachusetts. They have clearly shown just how little they value the institution of marriage and provide a chilling look into what our nation faces if homosexual marriage is legalized elsewhere.

How many two-year-old homosexual marriage break ups will clog our courts and damage children who are caught in the crossfire of warring gay men and women who cannot remain faithful to each other?” ... “The institution of marriage is already fragile in America; it is likely that there will be an epidemic of homosexual divorces if widely sanctioned and children will be the primary victims of this dangerous social experiment.

To which we reply: "Mr. Sheldon, are you really sure you see no fault in pointing out one gay divorce and making it looks as if it is the gayness that led to the split? You think you should be scapegoating the Goodridges? Are they the drastic exception? Hmm...let's see what this morning's 'Today' show has to say about divorce and the 'traditional family' in the straight world":

Look, we don't know the reasons or motivations behind the Goodridge split. And ya know what? It's none of our f***ing business! But couples, gay, straight, or otherwise, do sometimes split. Do all gays want to get married? No. Neither do all straights. And this writer would even concede that there is a higher rate of confirmed bachelorhood in the gay world, primarily because none of us have been raised in a society that present same-sex marriage as a tangible possibility. It's reasonable to expect some to internalize that societal message as saying to them, "You are different -- your relationships must be different." But the true irony is that those who so vehemently oppose gay marriage, such as Mr. Sheldon, are the ones who are the first to blame gays who don't settle down and fall in line with legally wed heterosexuals. So let's see -- they don't want gays non-committal, yet they don't want gays EXTREMELY committal? Could they want us, oh I don't know -- SIMPLY GONE?!

Goodridges: We encourage you to stay strong and try to ignore the offensive attacks your relationship will surely be forced to weather as these supposedly "pro-family" types attempt to stigmatize your own! Your family is in our thoughts.
Separation of ‘Goodridge’ Lesbians Confirms TVC Fears About ‘Gay’ Marriage [TVC]
Sheldon: I'm worried about the child's welfare -- so here, let me drag her parents' names through the mud [G-A-Y]

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Your thoughts

I am so very sorry to hear about the Goodridges divorcing. It is terribly sad but because of their struggle their lives have been lived in the harsh spotlight of the public and it must have been very difficult for them. Especially with persons like Kris Mineau reviling them and making them the poster children for the end of civilization as we know it.

I hope the girls find happiness soon. - D -

Posted by: Daniel | Feb 4, 2009 2:24:51 PM

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