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If we let straights wed, then what next? Man-dog sex? Incest? Women marrying complete strangers on national TV?

by Jeremy Hooper

And now for another edition of:


On tap this week: This announcement from Variety:

[Fox] has picked up the pilot "I Married a Stranger," from A. Smith and Co., the shingle behind "Hell's Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares."

Production has already been completed on the pilot, which centers on a woman who is in her late 30s and is eager to get hitched. A group of friends and family are presented with five eligible men, and the group slowly picks off the guys until one is left standing.

As each man is booted out, the bride-to-be gets her first look ("Dating Game" style) at who she won't be marrying. By the end of the episode, she finally meets the guy she's going to marry -- and the ceremony is held. Each week focuses on another potential coupling.

Marriage gets 'Stranger' on Fox show [Variety]

Ya know, it's a program for those who found 2003's "Married By America" or 2000s "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" too high brow. Those were niche. This one's for the masses, baby!

But that's not all on Fox's slate. In a related story: We hear that the new season of "24" will find Jack Bauer as an annulment attorney, negotiating the hour-by-hour proceedings of a married-on-TV couple seeking a quickie annulment. If you thought international terrorists were tough, just wait until he gets his torture-prone hands on a "Real Housewives" wannabe who confused 15 seconds of fame for a lifetime of loving commitment. The president WILL need to be waked!

Oh, and if you find this TV development good for marriage equality activists, then be sure to check back here for future editions of "Sanctity." We predict that within weeks, the gays will finally be vindicated once and for all after the smash hit feature film, Okay, we admit it -- We Heteros Are The Ones Who Broke Marriage! grosses one hundred million in its first weekend.

Stay classy, "traditional marriage."

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Your thoughts

Let's just wait to see if the "protect (deprive deserving citizens of) marriage" crowd starts to crow about this cheap exploitation of the fact that marriage has never had any semblance of sanctity. Or, will they ignore it, and just prove to everyone that "marriage" has nothing to do with their sincere love of hating on (and exploiting for fund-raising purposes) LGBTs. I suspect that it will be the later.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Jun 5, 2009 8:58:43 PM

Too funny, cheers.

Posted by: Chino Blanco | Jun 6, 2009 3:51:44 AM

An ironic point one might consider: this IS a traditional marriage. I mean, not the "live television" part, but everything else.

Arranged marriages are the oldest kind of marriage there is. The idea that someone should be able to choose their own spouse is a fairly recent societal standard. The Bible itself has information about how one would go through the proceedings of an arranged marriage.

In other words, this show is returning marriage to its oh-so-fantastic, traditional, "think of the children" roots. Fun!

Posted by: Shiny Badger | Jun 6, 2009 11:24:08 AM

Oh! So this is what they mean by "protect the sanctity of marriage"!

At least this show is a slightly more accurate portrayal of "traditional" marriage.

Posted by: Jordi H. | Jun 6, 2009 5:03:27 PM

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