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While we were away: Sally Kern out-nuttied herself

by Jeremy Hooper

Picture 8-147GENE: Silly Sally is so silly

AUDIENCE: (How silly is she?)

GENE: Silly Sally is so silly, that in order to heal our nation's economic problems, she actually suggested that the state of Oklahoma should adopt [blank].

[Campy 70's game show music]




(proposed by OK Rep. Sally Kern)

We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to
secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote
our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the
great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to
the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our

WHEREAS, “It is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon
which Freedom can securely stand” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with
human passions unbridled by Religion and Morality” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people” (John
Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the
power of government…but upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity
of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to
the Ten Commandments of God” (James Madison); and

WHEREAS, “Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that
belongs to us by the laws of God (Benjamin Franklin); and

WHEREAS, “God who gave us life gave us liberty and can the liberties of a nation be
thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the
people that these liberties are of the Gift of God” (Thomas Jefferson); and

WHEREAS, “Whether any free government can be permanent, where the public
worship of God, and the support of Religion, constitute no part of the policy or duty of the state”
(Joseph Story); and

WHEREAS, “We hold sacred the rights of conscience, and promise to the people…the
free and undisturbed exercise of their religion” (Roger Sherman); and

WHEREAS, “This great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians”
(Patrick Henry); and

WHEREAS, “When you…exercise the right of voting for public officers, let it be
impressed upon your mind that God commands you to choose just men who will rule in the fear of
God” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, “The principles of genuine Liberty and of wise laws and administrations
are to be drawn from the Bible” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the
Creator of the Universe; and

we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national
moral crisis; and

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion,
pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and
many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking
the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused
to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of
Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States
disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to
an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials
of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to
the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma
and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His
only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that “Blessed is the Nation whose God is the
Lord,” and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God
and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our
Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment,
and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great

Signed on the second day of July in the year of our Lord Christ Two Thousand and Nine.

Sally Kern's Proclamation for Morality [Right Wing Watch]

*RELATED: Our complete Sally Kern archive.

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Your thoughts

so filled with contradictions one wouldn't know where to start.

Posted by: Patrick B. | Jun 28, 2009 1:30:41 PM

I just want to shake these people. For the last time, church and state are separate!

Posted by: Callie | Jun 28, 2009 2:21:52 PM

What if that target to be "exposed and attacked" turns out to be a birth certificate with her name as the mother of the child?

Posted by: jamesnimmo | Jun 28, 2009 2:45:05 PM

PZ Meyers pulled this nonsense apart on Pharyngula.


Posted by: Timothy (TRiG) | Jun 29, 2009 12:34:15 PM


Posted by: Timothy (TRiG) | Jun 29, 2009 12:34:37 PM

OMG. Best spoof ever. Love match game. Poor Sally, she's REALLY insane.

Posted by: ZnSD | Jun 29, 2009 1:23:19 PM

What's not to like about it? Truth is truth... was then, is now. I stand with Sally.

Posted by: bob | Aug 22, 2009 2:04:41 PM

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