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On marriage, unfortunately the minds are not as open as the call

by Jeremy Hooper

The Gathering Storm The Truth Behind Nom S Anti Ga-1Are you an actor for hire? In need of some quick cash? Skilled at feigning shock over the "radical" idea that tax-paying gay Americans want, need, and deserve quality? Well you're in luck, enraged-by-lesbians thespians:

Casting Director James Stiles is putting out the word that he’s looking for two “real Maine” women to appear in a television ad produced by supporters of traditional marriage.

Stiles is looking for a “teacher type” and a “working waitress type,” both in the 35-45 age range. If you want to try out, he’s holding auditions from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Wednesday (Sept. 2) at the Howard Johnson in South Portland.

If you’re hired, it’s a three day gig that pays $500 a day.
Anti-marriage opponents in Maine hiring actors for their ad [Kennebec Journal via Americablog]

Gee, can't imagine why they want a "teacher type." [::Writer dramatically rolls eyes as he envisions yet another ad decrying the exact sort of teaching that would have made his young gay journey immeasurably easier::]

But who the hell knows why they want the "working waitress." Maybe they're gonna work a "gays will spend all their tip money on their honeymoons" angle? They're cooking up a thoroughly cutting piece involving gays taking more than their share of the pie? Or perhaps they're planning to stage a remake of "Alice," wherein they'll assert that marriage equality will quite literally lead to people kissing grits?

We'll have to wait and see.

**HA! Fritz posted the following in Pam's House Blend's comments:

Louise Is Applying For A New Job! [PHB]
(H/t: LOrion)

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Your thoughts

You would think that they would already have a bevy of like-minds, all of whom would gladly put their actual name and story forward in an advocacy ad for something that they personally believed in. Maybe I'm giving them too much credit, and they don't actually listen to (or care to hear) the stories their supporters spout.

But more than likely, they have written their own script, and want it to look more credible than the "Gathering (Blithering) Storm", by using actual Mainers. The flaw is that they will just be spouting some scripted lie rather than anything that is even close to being truth. But, one can only hope that it has the same parodific appeal.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 28, 2009 2:06:57 PM

The oddest part about the "working waitress", as anyone who works in the f/b industry will tell you, we gays are darn good tippers. Most people in the front of the house don't give a darn what we do, as long as we sit in their section.

Posted by: Em | Aug 28, 2009 3:28:24 PM

They're probably going to reference the Coyote Cafe (or whatever it's called) that was picketed following the Prop 8 election.

Posted by: Jon Trouten | Aug 28, 2009 4:09:36 PM

Yea, probably, Jon. I'm still hoping for an "Alice" parody. ;-)

Posted by: G-A-Y | Aug 28, 2009 4:18:24 PM

"A storm is coming...

...and I'm a waitress working in Portland, Maine. I had to serve a married homosexual couple and afterwards, they tipped me. THE HORROR!"

Posted by: KZ | Aug 28, 2009 6:01:58 PM

I wonder if we'll be able to get the outtakes to these.

Posted by: RainbowPhoenix | Aug 28, 2009 6:42:35 PM

I loved that video!
Jeremy, are you insinuating something about Alice? I know she was a single mom who rarely had a man around, but I think she and Flo were just friends.

Posted by: Bill S | Aug 29, 2009 8:55:48 AM

Ha! No, I'm not gonna out Alice here :-)

Fun fact about that show: I was CRAZY scared of it as a kid. For some reason, whenver Flo said kiss my grits, I would run out of the room and hide. I've never been able to figure out the root of it.

I had the same reaction to the song "Undercover Angel." I was an odd kid, to say the least.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Aug 29, 2009 10:24:13 AM

And, so it begins.. I like the "NO you can't get fries with that homosexual marriage!"

But, JH, this grits thing sounds like some deep seated psychological problem.. Did you have a problem with grits? Or kissing grits? Or maybe, kissing some grits-ish part of the female anatomy - though, the squeamishly ick factor of that keeps me from bringing myself to even speculate as to which part it might be. That's probably more of an indication of my deep seated psychological problems...

I, personally, never could find grits to be palatable. Fortunately I grew up in California, and grits weren't a staple - and were too cruel to even be a punishment. My mom made them once, because she wanted to try them. But when she saw that none of us would eat them, she didn't even try them herself. Yes, we were the guinea pigs - and that may indeed be the root of most of my psychoses.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 29, 2009 8:35:14 PM

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