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Has anyone seen the keys to my opulent float?

by Jeremy Hooper

We of course realize that some people and groups think the LGBT community is most accurately illustrated by the most spirited, preferably assless-chapped of pride parade attendees. But it's still shocking to hear it:

Peter LaBarbera's website "Americans for Truth" does not show 'gay' couples sitting on tractors or joy-riding on lobster boats. LaBarbera uses photos from 'gay pride' events to show the horrifying truth about the radical homosexual agenda; and he backs up his claims with solid evidence from the fields of medicine, sociology and psychology.

The stalwarts of the pro-family movement know that the image of normalcy - the image favored by radical homosexual activists - is easily refuted by a single photo from their own 'gay pride' events. Not all aspects of the homosexual lifestyle are as wholesome as an episode from "Father Knows Best." And since a single picture is worth a thousand words, the approach used by "Americans for Truth" will ultimately win the day.
Peter LaBarbera to Speak at League Office [CCL Maine]

Wow, what an awesome and in every way correct standard! Ooh here, let us try it:

First and foremost: All heterosexual young people can and should be defined by this image:


Oh, and everyone who celebrates Easter is summed up by this:

 Wp-Content Uploads 2008 03 Easter-Parade

And as for the Irish:

FUN! And all totally, thoroughly, 100% accurate. Because everyone knows that parades are a time to let your "normal" flag fly. Right?

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Your thoughts

Perfect response.

I don't think I'd trust Porno Pete as an arbiter of what constitutes "normal".

Posted by: GreenEyedLilo | Sep 25, 2009 7:56:01 PM

and he backs up his claims with solid evidence from the fields of medicine, sociology and psychology

Correction: He attempts to back up his claims with pseudo-scientific claims from discredited "researchers" like Paul Cameron and phony "experts" like NARTH.

And from now on I'm going to use Girls Gone Wild as my standard example of how heterosexuals behave.

Posted by: Buffy | Sep 25, 2009 8:22:48 PM

During my years in San Francisco, the Erotic Exotic Ball on Halloween (mostly straight people) always ended up spilling out into the Castro party. And, talk about risque! I saw a straight couple both dressed in clear plastic clothing. While they were outside, they wore very small aprons to cover up some of the naughty bits, but not all of them. The fact of the matter is that sexual exhibitionists exist throughout all of society. And, Porny Pete wouldn't have to travel all the way to SF to find most of them.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 25, 2009 8:23:48 PM

Not to mention something that SHOULD be obvious-that peopler don't dress or act the same at a parade as they would to go to work or do the laundry.
It's a rather specific event, one that might lead some people to dress and act differently than in their day to day lives. Kind of like how, at some sporting events, you'll see people in gigantic wigs and body paint. Or the way college kids on spring break turn into drunken idiots.
Or the way the Westboro Baptist Church totes around repulsive signs when there's a funeral for them to disrupt. I don't think they bring those with them when they fo to the grocery store.

Posted by: Bill S | Sep 26, 2009 10:32:38 AM

And, here is proof that all straight people have (at least oral) sex with cows!


Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 26, 2009 11:30:07 AM

LaBarbera and his site are a loathsome joke. But there is a real issue about how gay pride parades are conducted. Yes, the heteros have Mardi Gras and the like. Yes, heteros can get bawdy and drunk at public events.

But those events are not a political representation of a civil rights movement. Mardi Gras revelers are not demanding that there be changes in statutory and constitutional law. Mardi Gras revelers make no claims on society at large. We do. And we shouldn't be conducting ourselves like Mardi Gras revelers at a celebration of Stonewall. You want to wig out at the Halloween parade or some other frivolous event, fine. But when you act like a hedonist at a gay pride event, the anti-gays are within their rights to focus on it.

Posted by: Steven | Sep 26, 2009 1:39:15 PM

Steven, you can't blame an entire wide ranging gamut of LGBTs for the actions of a very few members of a small subculture on the fringe. You can't blame all Hispanics for the actions of a few rowdy Cinco de Mayo rioters.. but according to your analogy, everyone can (and maybe even should). The fact of the matter is that there are those on the fringe in all aspects of society, and we deal with it.. and we don't blame everyone in every subculture for the actions of very few of them.

There are those in the religious realm who actively espouse the notion that LGBTs should be shot (Steven Anderson is just one of them).. but not every evangelical can be held accountable for the instigators among them. And not every fundamentalist thinks that we should be killed just for being LGBT.. or maybe they do?? What do you think?

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 26, 2009 4:08:21 PM

I appreciate your reply and I certainly know that most gay people conduct themselves responsibly at the parades. But it really isn't accurate to fob this off as rare conduct that a fringe indulge in. It is more than that. We can quibble over whether it is 8%, 10% or 12%, but it isn't some rarely-seen outlier conduct as you suggest. The second point I would make is that the parade organizers and the 90% of participants who are not engaged in wild behavior make absolutely no effort to criticize or control it. On the contrary, the more "transgressive" it is, the more likely it is to generate wild applause from onlookers, at least here in NYC. The more bizarre and offensive, the better.

I personally have seen a man walk naked down 5th Ave, another man dressed in nothing but a leather jock strap, and a group of half-naked people sprawled out over a decommissioned police car. That last image evokes societal breakdown and moral anarchy, the very thing that people like LaBarbera unfairly try to associate with our civil rights movement. Again, no boos from the crowd. No criticism from the organizers. Just applause and support for this crap. So while there may have only been a handful of people doing it, everyone was implicated. To use your analogy, if mainstream Christians held an Easter Day parade, invited Fred Phelps, and then applauded him on the parade route, they all would be implicated, even if only Phelps and his small clan were the ones holding the offensive signs.

People can do what they like. I personally have no problem with nudity or leather jockstraps. But don't think that you can project a public image that is transgressive, offensive and bizarre and then expect people to accept the movement as the moral equivalent of the Black Civil Rights movement.

Posted by: Steven | Sep 26, 2009 9:16:01 PM

The Black Civil Rights movement had a fringe of transgressors in their midst also, and they still do. And, none of us fault African Americans for the transgressions of the few, we support them in their struggle. And the only ones who hold the transgressions of those fringe elements against them, are the ones who had long before made up their minds, and nothing would ever change it.

Along that same line, any of the people who listen to LaBarBear, have likewise already made up their minds. He isn't speaking to undecided voters, he is preaching to the choir. Not a single one of the people who give heed to anything that Peter says will ever change their opinion of us. And, none of those who are "undecided" about LGBTs or our rights, will ever listen to LaBarbera.

Also, if the more mainstream hatemongers ever attempted to "parade" our dirty laundry in a public campaign against us, they should be prepared for the same. They have plenty of skeletons themselves, and I for one, would have no problem with slinging a bit of feces back at them. Though, our mamby pamby "leaders" might be a bit more averse to taking such aggressive actions.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 26, 2009 10:17:40 PM

Let's try *this* analogy and see if our disapproving, conservative brother accepts it...

Our more outrageous opponents who protest our parades are no more a majority representation of the religious community as a whole than the revelers at gay pride parades.

Posted by: Marlene | Sep 27, 2009 7:55:44 AM

So, Jeremy, are you going to hear Pete speak?

Posted by: ColdCountry | Sep 29, 2009 3:59:10 PM

Oops! Day (or three) late and a dollar short. Guess I missed that one. Drat....

Posted by: ColdCountry | Sep 29, 2009 6:15:13 PM

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