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Gays, Gap, and 'Whateveryouwannakah': All euphemisms for evil, say anti-gay Mainers

by Jeremy Hooper

By now you've surely seen this Gap ad:

You might find it catchy or you might find it wretched. But either way, did you know that the ad is actually filled with withcraft and evil? The same kind of evil that paves the way for marriage equality?

Well it does, dear reader. Or at least that's what the Maine Family Policy Council (a Focus on the Family affiliate, btw) wants you to believe:

The sugar-coating which sweetens this dose of witchcraft is multiculturalism, tolerance, and diversity, the spirit of the Gap "holiday" commercial. Similarly, the vilest practices imaginable - abortion, euthanasia, and homosexual marriage - are wrapped up in a bow of tolerance and compassion, and sold to an unsuspecting public as "freedom of choice," or an "alternative lifestyle." Small wonder then that at the time of the Incarnation, the arrival of the infant Jesus - the Light of this World - liberals are offering the forces of darkness a seat at the table.
Pretty Poison [MFPC]

So let's see: Anti-gay Mainers took away our civil rights in November, and now they are writing us off as "vile" in December. Gee, what do we think they have planned for our Januarys: Forcing us to lie down and serve as the Super Bowl's Astroturf, perhaps? Eating all the yellow snow that may pile up around Aroostook County? Or maybe they'll just blame us every time they mistakenly write 2009 on their checks?

Guess we'll just have to wait and see. But for now we can't worry about that, as there are only thirty two shopping days left until we destroy Christmas, and you all know how difficult it can be to buy gifts for the vile witch who has everything.

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Your thoughts

I just love the fact that these holier than thou types don't even know the true history of their own faith.

Their Messiah wasn't even born on Dec. 25th - Osiris was born on the 25th!

Posted by: Alonzo | Nov 23, 2009 5:08:36 PM

Alonzo - these holier than thou types don't know ANYTHING and that is the problem - "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and they wonder why people treat THEM like crap! They ask for it and don't even know they are doing it!

Posted by: tom | Nov 23, 2009 5:38:52 PM

Vile Witch Who Has Everything: Gap Gift Certificate - Check.

Posted by: SammySeattle | Nov 23, 2009 6:58:43 PM

Notice how when the election was on the line they 'didn't hate anyone' and 'just want to preserve marriage'. now that they can be more honest they're saying Gay Marriage is like killing babies and grandma and liberals are in the service of Satan.

Posted by: wackadoodle | Nov 23, 2009 10:06:20 PM

I don't understand...Wicca or Paganism, (I don't really know the details of those religions, but I think they're the ones associated with Solctice, right?) are religions. Just like Catholocism, Judaism, Hindu, Muslim...it's a religious belief. How can these people deman religious freedom and be so horribly intolerant of OTHER RELIGIONS?!

Could you IMAGINE if someone said something like this about Christianity? They'd com eon the defense about freedom of religion and how they have every right to believe in their one true God. Yet Pagans don't? I don't get it.

The sad thing? You know they feel this way about the Jews too, but they are smart enough (HA) not to go around saying it because antisemitism is NOT taken lightly (rightfully so on many many levels!). Paganism/witchcraft is a much more subtle, lesser known religion, which makes it an easier prey. The Jews aren't stupid - the second Christians fuck with them, they're done.


Posted by: Stef | Nov 24, 2009 12:10:11 AM

No no no. The Vile Witch doesn't celebrate Christmas, s/he celebrates Yule, or the Winter Solstice, which occurs on December 21 this year. So there are only 27 more shopping days.

And if in doubt, buy candles. A Wiccan always appreciates a good candle.

Posted by: Timothy Kincaid | Nov 24, 2009 4:00:20 PM

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