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It's a steal (both the deal and the impetus behind it)

by Jeremy Hooper

Are you looking for a unique holiday gift for that special someone in your life? Tired of giving the same old, same old neckties, fruitcakes, and Chia Whoozawhatzits? Maybe your loved one is a gay person of Maine, California, or New York state who's recently been denied of a crucial civil right, and you want to gift them with some sort of figurative Band-Aid that will help heal the mouth-agaping wound?

Well look no further, weary elf. For a Smithtown, NY, straight woman has a deal that is as much of a steal as its rights-stripping motivation:

Screen Shot 2009-12-08 At 1.05.18 Pm

New York State has voted down marriage equality. A lot of people just don't believe all adults should be allowed to get married, usually for religious reasons, which is silly because you need to obtain a license from the state to get married, and there's a separation of church and state in this country, so denying someone the right to get married based on their sexual orientation is actually against the Constitution. The 14th Amendment, actually: Section. 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

I'm an unmarried heterosexual woman, and since I probably won't be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away. I would like to sell it to the highest bidder and donate the proceeds to an organization that supports LGBT rights since the government designed to protect all of us is picking and choosing based on what they think is icky, weird, or unknown to them.
Jamie Frevele's right to marry [ebay]

All this and free shipping too! Who needs Santa when you can buy a theoretical legal right that was forcibly ripped away by those who compare gays to Satan?

But just a warning to gay consumers: Don't let former ebay CEO Meg Whitman see you bidding on the item. She'll make you paypal the exact same amount as your hetero citizens, yet only allow you to call it a "civil union."

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Your thoughts

Kind of like Cap and Trade! The government puts restrictions on marriage, so those who do have the privilege, can sell off their excess allotment. Sounds perfectly legitimate to me! Since breeders can get married as often as they wish, but (realistically) can only divorce once (or twice) a year, that would suggest that they could offer their right to one marriage every year. So, there should be a ready supply of "marriage credits" up for sale. Though, in this case, that would be the equivalent to a tax on homos.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Dec 8, 2009 1:50:19 PM

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