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I've been mail-NOMed!

by Jeremy Hooper

As a charitable young wonk, this writer gets many fundraising solicitations this time of year. But when I get one addressed to "Mr. I Could Not Stand Against Your Agenda Any More Strongly," I know I'm in for a treat.

The mailer: The National Organization For Marriage (NOM)

The subject: The new and unique ways that they plan to use your cash to attack LGBT people in 2010

The offenses: Should be felt by LGBT people, non-Christians who are tired of their own religious freedom being steamrolled by one faith, honest people who are sick of grown adults misrepresenting certain situations, Americans who care about protecting civil rights in the face of majority persecution, and environmentalists concerned with what might be the most egregious waste of trees to ever hit this planet.

Be sure you've digested before proceeding:


The mailer begins with a exclusively Christian-centric letter from Focus on the Family's James Dobson (lest you think NOM is anything other than in the larger evangelical pocket).

Although one line in Dobson's supposed handiwork makes us think that it was actually written by Maggie, not Jimmy. Have a look and then we'll tell you which line that is:

Okay, so why do we think this was actually ghostwritten by Maggie? Well, go back and look at the second paragraph. That whole Leviticus/Genesis part? Yea, well listen to this Maggie clip:

*Source: "Janet Parshall's America"

Now, we know these folks tend to share the same talking points-laden brain. But this one seems a little too carbon copy, even for a team that limits its intellectual originality to minor changes of "and" and "the."

But enough stalling. Now on to the thoroughly offensive, typically fallacious letter that Maggie admits to penning:


But that's not all. For wasting your cash on the ignoble cause of bigotry, you not only get a future in which you have to explain to your grandkids why you stood on the wrong side of civil rights history in the name of false victimization. No, no -- you all get a burnt CD copy of something that is readily available online for free:


There is only one usable line in the whole damn thing:

Screen Shot 2009-12-17 At 9.23.31 Am

Yes, please, Maggie. For gay people. For humanity. For America. Declare your parasitic work over!

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Your thoughts

NOM solicitation tip #1:

Make your letter so long and rambling that your readers' eyes cross.

Posted by: DN | Dec 17, 2009 11:12:21 AM

My mother called me not too long ago saying she got a mailing from NOM, asking for money. I'm thinking NOM is just sending out random mailings because my mother isn't the type to send money to a group that would take away rights from her gay friends and is a supporter of gay marriage. She sent the mailing back to them with a letter stating that she won't be sending any money to anti-gay group like NOM now or in the future and politely asked to be removed from their mailing list.

My mother is so cool.

Posted by: Sam | Dec 17, 2009 11:19:34 AM

Nothing like Christians getting butthurt over losing government-related privileges (i.e., state) because they are denying people services based on their religion (i.e., church). If you don't want to be beholden to your allegedly heathen, wicked, oh-so-evil government, you should probably not ask for money from them and then proceed to use it in a way that they are not going to like.

I also rather hate it when they get all angry about being forced to do things for us maaaagical rainbow people when they're state employees. Nothing like getting denied a completely non-religious civil marriage license just because the clerk's religion sucks.

Oh, and speaking of that, it's great when people invoke what the bible says Yahweh created as what we should do. I guess friendship is out, because he didn't create that. Male and female he made them, and then he totally said "and male and female only shall you marry", as it had absolutely nothing to do with propagation of the species. Oh, and there's also no cultural context to anything in the bible. The laws of Leviticus, many of which can basically be appropriated to an ancient health code (don't eat meat that can kill you, don't have sex that doesn't make more of you), are completely relevant to the world today.

That part in the New Testament where that "Jesus" guy came down and laid down the new law? Complete crap, of course. I mean, as people who are supposed to emulate this "Jesus Christ" guy (i.e., "Christians") what are they going to follow? Ancient laws far removed from their context, interpretation, and systems for enforcement, or whatever their saviour said?

Posted by: Naamah | Dec 17, 2009 11:26:45 AM

Thanks, Jeremy. I've never seen Maggie admit where the billionaires thing comes from. It's an interesting article, found here: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200703/tim-gill

In regard to the article, Maggie quotes it as talking about "billionaires", but of the four donors in the article only one has that much money. (Besides, they have the Catholic and Mormon churches funding them.)

And the line she quotes is "...stop [pro-family political leaders] before they get started." The brackets replace "the Rick Santorums of tomorrow". I'm not so sure that's a fair replacement.

Posted by: Matt Algren | Dec 17, 2009 11:47:47 AM

Matt: Good catch with the brackets in the Atlantic story. No, it's not at all a fair replacement. I've actually seen Maggie do that a few times.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Dec 17, 2009 12:05:13 PM

That Wirthlin case is amusing. They post their notes from their meetings with the school principal and the teacher. I would LOVE to see the notes taken by the latter parties, I think the term "Bat shit crazy" might be there a few times.

As to the argument that a Catholic Adoption Agency was forced to shut down by the government, that is false. They exited the adoption arena before gay marriage had even gotten through the court system. A pre-emptive strike if you will.

Posted by: Tony P | Dec 17, 2009 12:45:36 PM

If I ever see this woman on the streets of DC, she will be minus one face.

Posted by: Mykelb | Dec 17, 2009 1:13:54 PM

I expected to read something that included, "the two great halves of humanity," in it. I was really disappointed. So...

Of course, the two great halves of the pie baked by humanity have mounded up on the two great thighs of the ravenous Gagger McSrivastav. I've never seen the (presumably cow worshiping) Hindu Guru (Srivastava) that she has hitched her nether regions to, but one can only guess that hers would be the greater "half" of that "humanity". Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen the hubby? With the Gagger's rapacious appetites, and the mounting evidence of her recent bouts of gorging, it may be that none of us will ever hear from him... Talk about a new take on the Scarsdale diet!

Can you imagine listening to that shrill, grating, whiny voice after sex?!?! "Well, what about MY needs? You men are all take, take, take! And, don't give me that look, MISTER MAN! That's just cruel in so many ways! And, since you're up, can you bring me another tub of ice cream, this one is just about empty!" "And, don't sneak a smoke in the bathroom! Get your stinky ass outside if you want to smoke! You think I don't know the smell of hashish!"

Posted by: Dick Mills | Dec 17, 2009 3:20:12 PM

Sorry, that last sentence should have read, "You think I don't know the smell of hashish, even when it is wafting in on a cloud of saffron-rice farts!"

Posted by: Dick Mills | Dec 17, 2009 4:28:07 PM

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