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Gay breakups in paws of social conservatives: Making catnip feel bad about its own efficacy

by Jeremy Hooper

It's always astounding to see professional backers of marital bias throwing breakups in the faces of the LGBT community. After all, these are people who dedicate the greater portions of their days to the sole cause of keeping gay and lesbian couples legally estranged, to sending the societal message that same-sex couplings are wrong, and to encouraging LGBT people to "change" their "wicked" ways. So when it comes to the kind of peaceful encouragement of monogamy that might truly foster stability in commitments, these professional 'mo foes are the most major impediment.

J-R-MorseYet make hay out of gay breakups they will. Latest case in point: Jennifer Roback Morse, head of something called the Ruth Institute (an official National Organization for Marriage affiliate). Today Morse has set her advocacy ray to "tabloid," using Rosie O'Donnell's family life for her own anti-gay gain:

She broke up with her 12 year lover/”wife” in October. She had 4 children with Kelli. Now she is dating her new love interest, named Tracy, who has six children. How nice.

Rosie O’Donnell made herself a poster child for same sex marriage and parenting. Now, she’s a poster child for what, exactly?

And don’t lay the guilt trip on me, “heterosexuals do this all the time,” nonsense. I’ve been on a campaign against divorce for a long time. The fact is that data as we have it right now strongly suggests that same sex unions are less stable than opposite sex unions, with most data pointing toward two women being the least stable combination.

Does anybody care about the impact on these 10 kids, who are getting passed around?

Rosie O’Donnell is dating… [Ruth Blog]

Okay, first off: Basic facts are wrong. Rosie herself has confirmed that Kelli moved out in 2007. So it hasn't been since October -- it's been for a couple of years now. Moving on after 2+ years (the reality) is MUCH different from moving on after less than three months (the fiction that Jennifer wants to be reality because it more ably fits her "gays are unstable" script).

That pertinent detail out of the way: How dare she question the parental fitness here, when all signs point towards a child-first mentality?! For starters: There's Rosie's long-held dedication to child welfare. Even Rosie's staunchest critics have complimented her dedication to children, both those within her own family and those in the world at large. Plus Rosie has made it quite clear that things are now amicable between herself and Kelli, with partnership shared 50-50. And as for the new girlfriend, Tracy: Well, not only is she a foster parent -- she is the founder of the Open Arms Campaign, a non-profit group that recruits foster and adoptive parents! The one thing we know about this person is that she children are her everything! That she too is a kid-focused mensch! And yet because the women involved happen to be lesbians going through a relationship change, Ms. Roback Morse feels total license to scream "PROTECT THE CHILDREN!," and to unwarrantedly suggest that these kids are being "passed around" like "L Word" DVDs. The insinuation is beyond insulting to Rosie, Kelli, Tracy, and every single LGBT person (and straight ally) on this planet!

And finally: Yes, we absolutely will play the "heterosexuals do this all the time" care. Clever of Jennifer to acknowledge that point so that she could act like she was nipping it in the bud; but she really isn't doing anything of the sort. Because relationship changes like Rosie and Kelli's are commonplace among hetero populations (esp. in the public eye). That is a sad reality. I'm a romantic at heart and so I hate to hear such things. But it's a simple truth: Gay and straight relationships sometimes come to an end. If there is a minor bump in instability among gay unions (and credible data really isn't saying that), then Ms. Morse need only look in the mirror for some reasons why. Because while ALL unions can be tough (although this writer's own has been deliciously easy since day one ::knock wood::), same-sex couples face the kinds of obstacles that hetero couples could not even begin to imagine. And who is fostering these obstacles? Yes, that's right: Jennifer, her colleagues at NOM, and the entire movement around which she has based a career!! They are the poster children for unscrupulous, society-weakening discrimination!

So in summary: This is bad tabloid journalism. This is bad humanity. For shame, Ms. Roback Morse.

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Your thoughts

"Rosie O’Donnell made herself a poster child for same sex marriage and parenting."

Rosie actually went out of her way not to make herself a poster child for marriage equality. When asked about it during the Prop H8 campaign, she very pointedly said that she and Kelli were not going to get married. It may now be more apparent that the underlying reason was that they weren't even living together at the time. But that aside, she did nonetheless specifically leave the "poster child for same sex marriage" identification to others. But, as you have clearly stated, when the facts don't fit the spin, they simply fabricate blatant lies that do.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Jan 5, 2010 2:41:55 PM

"I’ve been on a campaign against divorce for a long time."


They'll claim this if asked about their blatant hypocrisy, but they don't actually believe it. Their is NO major movement to ban divorce, none, not in any state. The groups that 'protect marriage' by fighting gay rights nationwide have never out the slightest time, money or energy towards banning divorce or adultery besides lip service like this.

Posted by: wackadoodle | Jan 5, 2010 2:43:50 PM

Now this is a brilliant example of articulating a strong argument, what is not is Jennifer Roback Morse's argument. What you have done in this article is look at the statements made and then construct a factual response around them. What Jennifer did was decide what she wanted to say and then essentially make up facts to back it up. Not smart and definitely not clever.

Posted by: Michelle | Jan 5, 2010 3:20:12 PM

Michelle: That's why anti-gay pieces are so reliably disingenuous. They start with a preconceived outcome and then twist, turn, and lie in order to make their talking points fit.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Jan 5, 2010 3:22:43 PM

And, the really sad thing is that those who listen to the lying liars at the Ruth "Institute" and NOMarriage don't know enough of the facts to refute the liars. They also, for the most part, don't care to learn the truth. To them this is just more confirmation of their preconceived false notions. Of course, those are also the 40% who are the most unlikely to ever vote for us, but it is still sad to see such rampant, aggressive ignorance.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Jan 5, 2010 5:54:40 PM

I'm a committed gay rights activist -- which means I talk to highly unsympathetic people at lot. One of the most disgusting memes floating around these days is "queers are only playing at marriage," while, presumably, straight people are more serious about it. This is belied by several obvious facts, like that more than 50% of straight marriages fail.
But most of all, when it's so goddamned hard for someone to get married in the first place, and society so generally opposes it, that marriage is nothing if not serious. You have to be extremely serious to get married same-gender in this country. And as for the kids -- if the parents are amicable, the kids will be fine. End of story. Gender preference doesn't enter into it.

Posted by: Bosco | Jan 6, 2010 12:02:54 AM

Self Righeous creeps often exhibiting Narcissitic Personality Disorder --- and feel no public shame and have no empathy. They are like sharks constantly building up their own public face. Period.

By a huge % most human minds are damaged beyond repair.

Posted by: rjp3 | Jan 6, 2010 1:58:27 PM

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