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11/17/2010

Snakes, snails, and poppycock tales

by Jeremy Hooper

Look out your window for flying pigs: For we actually agree with something Maggie Gallagher has written:

Like other males, boys are intensely status-conscious, aware of who is "on top" and who is "one down," and they're acutely anxious to avoid being the latter.

They hunger for achievements that signal successful maleness (and will find it in violence and misbehavior if that's all the maleness society provides), and they avoid activities that get labeled as "female" because, well you can't achieve status among boys by excelling at girly things.

Let's face it, reading has become a "girly thing" in our schools. It's taught at earlier and earlier ages, when girls start out with certain developmental advantages. The girls start out ahead, and the boys are then given books that bore them and are encouraged to read by overwhelmingly female teachers (and by families that overwhelmingly lack fathers in low-income communities).
Schools are failing boys of all races [NY Post]

Maggie's right on this: Boys, in particular, are often limited because out a "you get a truck, you get a doll" society that more fully places mindful exploration in the realm of "sugar, spice, and everything nice." Contrived gender roles have unnecessarily played barbed wire around certain activities, which not only serves to deprive most all kids, but also to inorganically squeeze certain kids into interest boxes that don't match their inner wants or needs. LGBT kids often have the most vidid memories of this purposeless squeeze.

But here's the thing: Through work that emboldens heterosexist/homo-hostile memes, Maggie herself is playing a HUGE role in this "boy thing" vs. "girly thing." Because we all know that a major component of the kind of attitudes that propel marriage bans to electoral "victories" is the general fear of "sissies" (and to a lesser extent "butches). We see it in all of the anti-gay marriage campaigns, through their fears about kids reading books with two princes kissing or certain "lifestyles" being foisted on the public. Within the general sense of "other"ness that all of these "pro-marriage" folks strive to cultivate, there's a strong, driving force built around the idea that falling outside of "traditional" gender roles is something that should render one's life lesser-than (and in this overall sense, "butches" and "sissies" are discarded in equal measure).

Although when reading on, we see that Maggie herself probably does both realize and stand by this career reality. Because while we certainly agree with her above assessment of the problem, we could'nt disagree more with her stated solutions. "Solutions" that seemingly foster the same sort of differentiation that her anti-gay marriage work relies upon:

We have a gendered problem; we need to abandon genderless ideologies to find new solutions.

Here's a simple idea for a teacher (or a parent) to try: Create "boys" and "girls" bookshelves. (Put the same books on each, just make sure each shelf includes adventure stories, sports and science fiction.) Here's another bigger step: Separate the boys and girls into separate reading groups. Let the boys compete against other boys to see who reads the best out loud, or who reads the most books in a month.

Don't neglect the girls, whose success we can all be proud of. But right now we have an educational emergency for boys, especially African-American boys.

What we are doing isn't working, so let's try something new: letting boys be boys.
Schools are failing boys of all races [NY Post]

No, no, no! Yes, let boys be boys. Yes, recognize the earlier developments that have historically led females to activities like reading. But the answer is not further separation: It's for adults to start acting like adults of a well-rounded world, realizing that our limited views on "pink" and "blue" childhood have been limiting both genders for far too many generations! Stop telling boys that their penis prevents their sensitivity chip from being fully cultivated. Stop telling girls that the eventual development of breasts limits their own action and adventure stories. Boys can grow up to be the Cake Boss, and girls as tough as Jillian Michaels. The answer is not MORE of the kind of thing that's left so many tomboys feeling awkward or led so many emotional young males to see their non-desire for Sunday Night football as some sort of genetic flaw. The answer is a new reality: One that accepts the world's reality for what it is.

Radical, I know.

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