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04/24/2015

READ: Very anti-gay crew vows to never recognize civil marriage equality (even though they so will or face penalties)

by Jeremy Hooper

When you've tried for years—even decades, in some cases—to stop gay rights and marriage in particular, and you've failed and failed H-A-R-D, you've got to try something to save face. For a fairly sizable group of extremely anti-gay people who have dedicated a large portion of their adult lives to civil discrimination, this means signing on to a defiant (but wholly meaningless) letter in which you make a vow to always oppose marriage equality, no matter what, end of story—harrumph.

Here's what that looks like:

Humorous Anti-gay Marriage Pledge

Listen, folks, you can sit at home and stick pens in your groom/groom voodoo dolls until your hearts are content. One must have hobbies, and if gnashing your teeth over certain couples' happiness tickles your pickle, then keep at it. I'm certainly not going to stand in the way of you and your passions.

But when it comes to any situation that requires your fair recognition of a legal marriage? You're going to have to follow the law, or you will suffer penalty. I know you might just think that's rhetoric, since you all have aligned yourself with a movement that proves rhetoric above fact. But it's the truth. And I'm telling you not for my own good, but yours.

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