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NOM actively working on its 2016 'Marriage Pledge'; sorry, Republicans who want to move on

by Jeremy Hooper

If you head over to the NOM-owned MarriagePledge.com, you will see that the site is in development mode:


This means that NOM is hard at work preparing the 2016 version of its "Marriage Pledge," which you might remember from 2012 (when all but Ron Paul signed it).

What new and exciting things are in store for this year's version? Well, surely there will be lots of talk about the license-to-discriminate that NOM calls "religious freedom." And defiance; we mustn't forget defiance. But besides that, what else will be in this silly, party-damaging pledge? I have some thoughts.

  1. A pledge to convince Americans that SCOTUS stands for Second Chances Offered to US.
  2. A pledge to return any gay wedding invites marked, "Return to Sender. And to 1956."
  3. A pledge to launch crowdfunding campaigns for any vendor who so much as sees a same-sex couple and will therefore need to replace his or her eyes.
  4. A pledge to push a court case that uses same-sex marriage rights as legal precedent to obtain a right to finally marry church and state the way they've always wanted.
  5. A pledge to only elect a president who vows to pass a Federal Marriage Amendment, promises to make the 12th of Never a national holiday, plans to make flying pigs the nation bird, and who gauges climate change by whether or not hell has frozen over
  6. A pledge to never apologize for the considerable divisiveness they've engendered and massive resources they'd squandered for the sake of discrimination.

What else, while we wait for NOM to unleash its brilliance on the world?

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